Jump to content

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

xtraspicy62

Battle of the Sexes.....Please add on using any media.....

Recommended Posts

[quote name='barbara1 wrote:


Zhivvy
']if they can send one man to the moon, why can't they send them all there?

 

my love askes me to tell you he's fine with that suggestion and he will enjoy all the U2 concerts on the moon....since they're 4 men too?!eyes.gif

and no.....you cant make any exception there.....you did say 'them all'...... (what were you thinking, zhiv?? not a smart move this one!)I only meant certain ones - and to be fair U2 are known a our 'boys' so they wouldn't come under the 'man' category (although we know what men they really are!!!)

And tell your husband to stop being so smart in his answers! happy.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, 'My dear child, why are you crying?' The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.

'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked . The seamstress replied, 'No.'

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.

'Is this your thimble?' t he Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, 'No.'

The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble .

'Is this your thimble ?' the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, 'Yes.' The Lord was pleased w ith the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, 'Why are you crying?' 'Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!'

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney 'Is this your husband?' the Lord asked.

'Yes,' cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. 'You lied! That is an untruth!' The seamstress replied, 'Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.

Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.

And so the Lord let her keep him.

The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it.

 

 

okay!LMAO!! but somehow my love didnt find it as amusing?? why is it men have no sense of humor??lol!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[quote name='barbara1 wrote:


Zhivvy']

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, 'My dear child, why are you crying?' The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.

'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked
.
The seamstress replied, 'No.'

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.

'Is this your thimble?' t he Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, 'No.'

The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble
.

'Is this your thimble ?' the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, 'Yes.' The Lord was pleased w ith the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, 'Why are you crying?' 'Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!'

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney 'Is this your husband?' the Lord asked.

'Yes,' cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. 'You lied! That is an untruth!' The seamstress replied, 'Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.

Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.

And so the Lord let her keep him.

The moral of this story is:
Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it.

 

 

okay!LMAO!! but somehow my love didnt find it as amusing?? why is it men have no sense of humor??lol!

Just read it to John and he just said it was rubbish!!! - men, they just have no humour!!!laugh.gif (apart from our favourite men!!!)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him.

They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he'd put an end to things by saying boldly, "After our second child, I'll just have a vasectomy."

 

Without a moment's hesitation, the bride retorted, "Well, I hope you'll love the third one as if it's your own."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him.

They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he'd put an end to things by saying boldly, "After our second child, I'll just have a vasectomy."

 

Without a moment's hesitation, the bride retorted, "Well, I hope you'll love the third one as if it's your own."

roll.gifroll.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

An older couple noticed that they were beginning to forget many little things around the house. They were afraid that this could be dangerous, as one of them may accidentally forget to turn off the stove and thus cause a fire.

So, they decided to go see their doctor to get some help. Their doctor told them that many people their age find it useful to write themselves little notes as reminders. The elderly couple thought this sounded wonderful, and left the doctor's office very pleased with the advice.

 

When they got home, the wife said, "Honey, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream ? Arent you writing this down?"

 

"Nonsense," said the husband, "I can remember a dish of ice cream!"

 

"Well," said the wife, "I'd also like some strawberries on it. You better write that down, because I know you'll forget."

 

"Don't be silly," replied the husband. "A dish of ice cream and some strawberries. I can remember that!"

 

"OK, dear, but I'd like you to put some whipped cream on top. Now you'd really better write it down now. You'll forget," said the wife.

 

"Come now, my memory's not all that bad," said the husband. "No problem, a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream."

 

With that, the husband shut the kitchen door behind him. The wife could hear him getting out pots and pans, and making some noise inconsistent with his preparing a dish of ice cream, strawberries, and whipped cream. He emerged from the kitchen about 15 minutes later.

 

Walking over to his wife, he presented her with a plate of bacon and eggs. The wife took one look at the plate, glanced up at her husband and said, "Hey, where's the toast?"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A young couple were in the honeymoon suite on their wedding nite . As they undressed for bed, the guy who was a big burly bruiser, tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here, put these on."

She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your pants," she said.

"That's right and don't forget it," said the husband. "I'm the man in this family."

With that, she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.

He said, "Hell, I can't get into your pants."

She said, "That's right, and that's the way it's going to be until your damn attitude changes!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

277148zoom.gif

 

 

Absolutely hilarious.  Love it babs!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[quote name='Zhivvy wrote:


barbara1 wrote:

Zhivvy']

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, 'My dear child, why are you crying?' The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.

'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked
.
The seamstress replied, 'No.'

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.

'Is this your thimble?' t he Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, 'No.'

The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble
.

'Is this your thimble ?' the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, 'Yes.' The Lord was pleased w ith the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, 'Why are you crying?' 'Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!'

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney 'Is this your husband?' the Lord asked.

'Yes,' cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. 'You lied! That is an untruth!' The seamstress replied, 'Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.

Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.

And so the Lord let her keep him.

The moral of this story is:
Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it.

 

 

okay!LMAO!! but somehow my love didnt find it as amusing?? why is it men have no sense of humor??lol!

Just read it to John and he just said it was rubbish!!! - men, they just have no humour!!!laugh.gif (apart from our favourite men!!!)

I'm sorry zhiv, but I'm with john and bab's love on this one.... I can't see the humor in it.tongue.gif  Stick to the hugs, bum hugs and monkey hugs... you are good at those! roll.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

024.jpg

This reminds me of when my brother and I were kids!laugh.gif

 

Thanks for that spicy... it gave me a great laugh!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

there are so many good ones on here to quote. Loving them all... even if they are making fun of men. But men can take a joke! ;-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
there are so many good ones on here to quote. Loving them all... even if they are making fun of men. But men can take a joke! ;-)
They have no choice they have to look in the mirror every morning! wink.giftongue.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

yes, zhiv! you're the master!roll.gif

 

glad you 've got some sense of humor, mummy...or at least a bit more than certain husbands out there.... 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
yes, zhiv! you're the master!roll.gif

 

glad you 've got some sense of humor, mummy...or at least a bit more than certain husbands out there.... 

Why do husbands only like the jokes which aren't against men? Strange that ......

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[quote name='Zhivvy wrote:


mummy']there are so many good ones on here to quote. Loving them all... even if they are making fun of men. But men can take a joke! ;-)

They have no choice they have to look in the mirror every morning! wink.giftongue.gif

 

So true.  I wake up, look in the mirror, laugh, go into the shower, look in the mirror, laugh, get dressed and get one last look in the mirror, laugh and head off to work.

 

No wonder men have so many laughter lines!! laugh.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[quote name='Zhivvy wrote:


barbara1']yes, zhiv! you're the master!
roll.gif

 

glad you 've got some sense of humor, mummy...or at least a bit more than certain husbands out there.... 

Why do husbands only like the jokes which aren't against men? Strange that ......

 

Maybe ye should look in the mirror! happy.gifeek.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[quote name='mummy wrote:


Zhivvy wrote:

barbara1']yes, zhiv! you're the master!
roll.gif

 

glad you 've got some sense of humor, mummy...or at least a bit more than certain husbands out there.... 

Why do husbands only like the jokes which aren't against men? Strange that ......

 

Maybe ye should look in the mirror! happy.gifeek.gif

 

I do and it's a lovely view!!!tongue.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[quote name='Zhivvy wrote:


mummy wrote:

Zhivvy wrote:

barbara1']yes, zhiv! you're the master!
roll.gif

 

glad you 've got some sense of humor, mummy...or at least a bit more than certain husbands out there.... 

Why do husbands only like the jokes which aren't against men? Strange that ......

 

Maybe ye should look in the mirror!
happy.gifeek.gif

 

I do and it's a lovely view!!!tongue.gif

Zhivvy, I could go to town on this statement but I better keep my mouth shut or I'll get into trouble! hahaha

tongue.gifroll.giftongue.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[quote name='mummy wrote:


Zhivvy wrote:

mummy wrote:

Zhivvy wrote:

barbara1']yes, zhiv! you're the master!
roll.gif

 

glad you 've got some sense of humor, mummy...or at least a bit more than certain husbands out there.... 

Why do husbands only like the jokes which aren't against men? Strange that ......

 

Maybe ye should look in the mirror!
happy.gifeek.gif

 

I do and it's a lovely view!!!
tongue.gif

Zhivvy, I could go to town on this statement but I better keep my mouth shut or I'll get into trouble! hahaha

tongue.gifroll.giftongue.gif

 

Please don't be mean!!! lol!! 

And it is a lovely view in the mirror as i have a lovely bathroom!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[quote name='Zhivvy wrote:


mummy wrote:

Zhivvy wrote:

mummy wrote:

Zhivvy wrote:

barbara1']yes, zhiv! you're the master!
roll.gif

 

glad you 've got some sense of humor, mummy...or at least a bit more than certain husbands out there.... 

Why do husbands only like the jokes which aren't against men? Strange that ......

 

Maybe ye should look in the mirror!
happy.gifeek.gif

 

I do and it's a lovely view!!!
tongue.gif

Zhivvy, I could go to town on this statement but I better keep my mouth shut or I'll get into trouble! hahaha

tongue.gifroll.giftongue.gif

 

Please don't be mean!!! lol!! 

And it is a lovely view in the mirror as i have a lovely bathroom!

I wasn't going to be mean! lol  I'm sure you do have a lovely bathroom... talking about bathrooms, I just got my bathrooms completely recently... took ages.... nearly 4 weeks.... I'm happy with them, except for the mirrors.  You must be happy with your mirrors to show off your bathroom! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[quote name='mummy wrote:


Zhivvy wrote:

mummy']  Zhivvy, I could go to town on this statement but I better keep my mouth shut or I'll get into trouble! hahaha

tongue.gifroll.giftongue.gif

Please don't be mean!!! lol!! 

And it is a lovely view in the mirror as i have a lovely bathroom!

I wasn't going to be mean! lol  I'm sure you do have a lovely bathroom... talking about bathrooms, I just got my bathrooms completely recently... took ages.... nearly 4 weeks.... I'm happy with them, except for the mirrors.  You must be happy with your mirrors to show off your bathroom! :)

 

So nice to hear that you now have great bathrooms!

Ours are nice but need painting - i alway think the house needs painting lol!! we are lucky we have three bathrooms - great to have but a bugger to clean!! - but at least we never have to queue for the toilet!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[quote name='Zhivvy wrote:


mummy']

I wasn't going to be mean! lol  I'm sure you do have a lovely bathroom... talking about bathrooms, I just got my bathrooms completely recently... took ages.... nearly 4 weeks.... I'm happy with them, except for the mirrors.  You must be happy with your mirrors to show off your bathroom!
:)

 

So nice to hear that you now have great bathrooms!

Ours are nice but need painting - i alway think the house needs painting lol!! we are lucky we have three bathrooms - great to have but a bugger to clean!! - but at least we never have to queue for the toilet!

 

Maybe you have a painting fetish?  I've so much work to do on this house, I don't know where to start...  painting is only part of it.  Ah, I've got years to do it... no point rushing it.  I've three bathrooms too but only 2 are operable.  I'll get to that one eventually... maybe 2012.  Who knows?  No one likes queing for the toilet.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[quote name='mummy wrote:


Zhivvy wrote:

mummy']

I wasn't going to be mean! lol  I'm sure you do have a lovely bathroom... talking about bathrooms, I just got my bathrooms completely recently... took ages.... nearly 4 weeks.... I'm happy with them, except for the mirrors.  You must be happy with your mirrors to show off your bathroom!
:)

 

So nice to hear that you now have great bathrooms!

Ours are nice but need painting - i alway think the house needs painting lol!! we are lucky we have three bathrooms - great to have but a bugger to clean!! - but at least we never have to queue for the toilet!

 

Maybe you have a painting fetish?  I've so much work to do on this house, I don't know where to start...  painting is only part of it.  Ah, I've got years to do it... no point rushing it.  I've three bathrooms too but only 2 are operable.  I'll get to that one eventually... maybe 2012.  Who knows?  No one likes queing for the toilet.

We've been here for 3 years in a couple of weeks and haven't done much - it was a new build. Daughter's room is done and lovely - but apart from that and downstairs toilet nothing has been done - and I am getting impatient to do it now!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[quote name='Zhivvy wrote:


mummy']Maybe you have a painting fetish?  I've so much work to do on this house, I don't know where to start...  painting is only part of it.  Ah, I've got years to do it... no point rushing it.  I've three bathrooms too but only 2 are operable.  I'll get to that one eventually... maybe 2012.  Who knows?  No one likes queing for the toilet.

We've been here for 3 years in a couple of weeks and haven't done much - it was a new build. Daughter's room is done and lovely - but apart from that and downstairs toilet nothing has been done - and I am getting impatient to do it now!

We are in a new build too so it seems we are in the same boat.  Only things done is kitchen, 2 upstairs bathrooms and my daughter's room... our room is done too, except for the floor... I'm not sure what to do with them - varnish them, paint them or do something else entirely.  The hallway is nearly complete except I want to paint the walls a different colour.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...