What makes my story of how the shows will unfold truly believable is that I am writing it PAST the April 1 / Fools Day deadline for being silly.
From a reliable source, the boys find themselves dancing very very close to Spinal Tap ingenuity, laying still on stage, unknown to fans, in egg shaped capsules. The capsules slowly begin to crack, Larry the paternal father of the band, emerges first. Lots of indescribable, but very authentic sticky stuff dripping from his body.
He spreads his arms wide, like wings, twirls, dances/flies over towards the next capsule/egg. He beats ( ahum ) on it with his drum sticks. Calls out into the air, like a Mother bird might call its young, or when it suffers from a sore throat....that egg cracks further.
It's Bono. The drum beat continues. Sunday Bloody Sunday. He jumps out. One wing seems to unintentionally jam in the capsule before it comes off, seemingly amputated. Blood spurts from the theatrical wound. Larry flies around cawing in disbelief, panicked as to what to do. Then, miraculously, Edge emerges from his shell. He run/flies towards Bono, removes a guitar strap and uses it as a turnacut around Bone's severed arm.
Larry continues to dance and fly around the stage, whacking harder and harder on the last capsule, The whacking is also heard from the inside of the egg. It seems Adam might be stuck. Wants out but it just aint happening.
Larry whales, whacks, whips, smacks, begins to kick, smash and scream at it. It then opens. Adam, in facts opens it. He sticks his head up, looks around. Lays back down and closes it.
Apparently he never supported this opening performance in the first place. Larry reminds him how he sucked at bass when he first joined the boys and that that debt was never fully paid until recently ! Adam reluctantly gets up, takes his place amoung the birds. And for the first time in recent history, grabs the mic and begins to sing....
I'm moved just reading this. And, its from an incredibly reliable source. In fact, a moderator hear at U2.COM ! Kidding.