Jump to content

U2 Parodies Strike Again (Enjoy the latest batch!!!)


sassyfan
 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Subscriber

Welcome to the THIRD UChew album: Slop. It's another serving of U2 parodies! I’m inching closer & closer towards realizing my goal of parodying every U2 song to the theme of food. Why? Because I can. Because it’s a tribute to our boys. Because it’s a challenge. Because it’s funny. Because that mountain is there. Because maybe one day U2 might come across these & get a laugh out of them. Or because you'll laugh along too.

in case you missed the old batches:

http://community.u2.com/topic/9289

http://community.u2.com/topic/10625

So enjoy the latest batch...and, as always, let me know what you think!!!

Tracklisting

New Cheese Plate
All Because Of Juice
Some Meat Fill
Ain't Gel, It's Our Phlegm
Some Souffles Are Better Than Mother's
When Lunch Turns To Pounds
Crisco Wreck
Lunch Is Mindless

--------------

New Cheese Plate
Parody of "New Year's Day "

Honey
Won't you bring out a new cheese plate
While the party now gets underway
Third time I've asked you
That I've asked you
For that plate
Just some crackers
And a new cheese plate
A new cheese plate

I don't want to ask again
I don't want to ask you again

Under the deck flood lights
A crowd has gathered
And the table's light
Arms entwined
I am not amused
What mother says, says
Says it's true, it's true
Though I defended you
If you refuse
You aren't the one

I don't want to ask again
I don't want to ask you again

Oh...
Everyone, hang on tight
Oh...
Where that cheese knife?

I don't want to ask again
I don't want to ask you again

You're forty years old so act your age
These are our friends & tonight they'll gauge
Though I want to be with you
Be with you
That can change
That'll change if
There's no cheese plate
If there's no cheese plate

--------------

All Because Of Juice
Parody of "All Because Of You "

I was born with a child's fat face
Nothing worked on my big waist
Always felt fugly
With a weight I can't embrace
And every diet is bullshit

I saw you at Curves
Across the room
You saw my cookie dough
And my spoon
You told me you only eat legumes
I'd lose the pounds if I followed it

All because of juice
All because of juice
All because of juice
I can...I can

I like the sound of a blender on
I didn't question if this diet's sound
I think I lost 7 pounds
Another 50 is my aim

Some people get thinner tossing the snacks
Some people got there cutting out fats
It's no joke cause I can wear these slacks
Mr. Atkins, you're so lame

All because of juice
All because of juice
All because of juice
I can...I can

Another 5
And I'm doing porn!
Dots in my eyes
I'm on the floor
I'm out to space
And starting to doubt
That this juicing fast is wise

All because of juice
All because of juice
All because of juice
Can't stand
Can't stand

--------------

Some Meat Fill
Parody of "One Tree Hill "

We churn away to make the cold, raw meat fill
And we make 'em while we wear dirty gloves
The run so tight they leave no workflow with
Unfilled hours
Carving into flesh
Until someone gets hurt
A finger's cut and becomes some meat fill
You'd think they'd come around & stop the line

It bleeds like a river, it's plain to see
It bleeds like a river into the meat

I'd love a world that wouldn't have us
In a viral zone
Where unions speak for us
Then strike for it
Saranwrap his wound then he's fired
Now that his hand is gone
You know his blood still dyes
All that ground

It bled like a river, it's plain to see
It bled like a river into the meat

I don't believe they use clean hoses
Or heed safety charts
While dollars pile on high for the unethical
What we eat in the end
Is a finger that falls from a guy
From a room that has turned red
With just more meat fill

It bled like a river, it's plain to see
It bled like a river into the meat

It bears explaining
Explaining hard
Only when forced will they let us take
These machines apart

Then the draining
The draining starts
Draining away the parts
Draining
Draining parts
Draining body parts
Full of disease

Oh grate motion
Oh grate skin
Bleed like an ocean
Bleed like a sea

--------------


Ain't Gel, It's Our Phlegm
Parody of "Angel Of Harlem"

It was a cold & wet December day
When I was working at the Burger K
This jerkoff had come around
On his BLT, I made a sound
And it ain't gel

Diet Coke, I would add some pee
Tonight, revenge is what he'll eat
And it ain't gel

A sauce...a sauce who's secret he won't know
A sauce...
Ain't gel, it's our phlegm

That man, he's 23
He screwed over my sister, Wendy
She got the clap & she's just sixteen
Man, I know what he's got to eat
And it ain't gel

Gonna pay, get a surprise
He'll eat the truth with a side of fries
And it ain't gel

A sauce...a sauce who's secret he won't know
A sauce...
Ain't gel, it's our phlegm

He says "oh hi...
Get my order to go...
Yeah yeah...
Yeah yeah...
Right now!"

Just right, it'll have to do
God knows if he'd eat it too
I wiped my ass with his onion rings
Fries stolen from the trash bin
Don't care if it costs my pay
I step on the meat
Out in the alleyway
And I suppose I could just fight
But somehow I'm taking a real delight
I wouldn't want to be in his shoes
After he's through with this food
He'll never know that it ain't gel

Yeah, yeah...
Ain't gel, it's our phlegm
Ain't gel
Ain't gel, it's our phlegm

--------------

Some Souffles Are Better Than Mother's
Parody of "Some Days Are Better Than Others"

Some souffles are dry, some souffles are creamy
Some souffles taste gross, other are just cheesy
Some souffles cost less, but most days cost more
Some slip through your fingers & wind up on the floor

Some souffles are quick whenever you're needy
Some souffles take more time than you think necessary
Some souffles just won't quite fill us
Some souffles are better than Mothers

Some souffles would shut dad up
That she don't make the best stuff
Some souffles are better than Mother's

Some souffles are sweet, others are crappy
Some souffles taste way too damn Maple sappy
A crust that's brown & good if there's custard
Some souffles are better than Mother's

Some souffles you take up when you are training
Some souffles are made whenever its raining
Some souffles have lemon, some have fruit in
And some have chocolate baked into its skin

Some souffles are more than choice
And ones that I'd rather taste
Some souffles are better than Mother's

Some souffles are warm, some are just not
Some souffles have ice cream & a hot sauce
Some souffles are crazily tangy
Some souffles are jammed with berries

Some souffles are work, they aren't for the lazy
But they will impress your sweet little lady
Holy sweet Jesus, this one tastes like no other
Some souffles are better than Mother's

Some souffles are better fed
To the rat you hide under your bed
Some souffles are better than Mother's

Some souffles are really choice
But you'll say it in a low voice
Some souffles are better than Mother's

--------------

When Lunch Turns To Pounds
Parody of "When Love Comes To Town"

I was a gourmant, I would love to eat
I would clear out a table before lunch ends for me
I was a biter, I could burn through the bread
Now I stand on a scale that I wish was dead

When lunch turns to pounds,
My wife is gonna pin the blame
When lunch turns to pounds,
My meals won't ever be the same
Maybe I'm wrong to not cut the calories down
But I'll eat what I'll eat
Before lunch turns to pounds

Used to make lunch a few cheese omelettes
I was making french toast no one could forget
It took a pot of coffee just to wash that down
But I left room, honey, for some hash browns

I ran into a greasy spoon when I heard a waitress scream
The short order cook had just run out of cream
As the menu changed I saw my life upside down
That was the day before lunch turned to pounds

When lunch turns to pounds,
My wife is gonna pin the blame
When lunch turns to pounds,
My meals won't ever be the same
Maybe I'm wrong to not cut the calories down
But I'll eat what I'll eat
Before lunch turns to pounds

When I woke up this morning I was feeling beat
I felt so damn hungry and I famished for a feast
When I looked up I saw the Devil cooking on
And, my Lord, he layed out brunch
Before it all turned to pounds

I was scared when he worked the cutting board
If he noticed the desserts I did stealthily hoard
I threw in more when he turned the other side
For I've seen lunch conquered
Because I'm wide

When lunch turns to pounds,
My wife is gonna pin the blame
When lunch turns to pounds,
My meals won't ever be the same
Maybe I'm wrong to not cut the calories down
But I'll eat what I'll eat
Before lunch turns to pounds

--------------

Crisco Wreck
Parody of "Discotheque"

You can cook but you can't bake for shit
You can't hold a candle next to me
You just can't hack it
It's all mush but you won't take directions
Masticate
Regurgitate
Oh no, you cannot correct it
If you'd use a recipe I might have a crumb
But you made concrete that's overdone
Now there's no way anyone could ever eat this stuff

You shake your head & then you blow it
Yeah, you try at it, work at it long
Just for some dogshit

Oh no, ugh no
Crisco wreck
Oh no, ugh no
Crisco wreck

Baking just for fun
But you could just buy a pie instead
You're doing it all wrong
What's wrong inside your head?

There's no trick, you just learn it
Investigate
A mistake you create
Then you won't burn it
If you'd use a recipe I might have a crumb
But you made concrete that's overdone
Now there's no way anyone could ever eat this stuff

Oh no, ugh no
Crisco wreck
Oh no, ugh no
Crisco wreck

Baking just for fun
But you could just buy a pie instead
You're doing it all wrong
What's wrong inside your head?

But you bake every chance you get
Cuz you are out of your mind
Oh, you'll take a mountain of lard
And one night, one night, one night

Ugh yuck
Ugh yuck
Crisco wreck

--------------

Lunch Is Mindless
Parody of "Love Is Blindness"

Lunch is mindless
I just want to eat
Made this wrap last night before sleep
Add poptart
Lunch is mindless

In a parked car in the driver's seat
You eat your lunch in quiet peace
Bread is crumbling
Store bought coke sipping
Lunch is mindless

Lunch is clockwork & so dull
Figure you'd eat out after all
Take out the wallet
Will they take debit?
Lunch is mindless

Lunch is mindless
I just want to eat
I've a wrap I made with some cheese
Ugh, my lunch
Lunch is mindless

A little peace without talking
No calls, you've fair warning
Lady, don't get ideas & start some nonsense

Lunch is over, you had Taco Bell
All the toppings and no Tums they sell
Now you're runny, sonny
Mindless

Lunch is mindless
I just want to eat
Will make a wrap tonight before sleep
Oh, my god
Mindless

--------------

UChew is:

Bon Appetit - vocals, guitar
The Fridge - guitar, keyboards, vocals
Ida Weightons - bass
Cherry Soda Jr. - drums, percussion

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...