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How To Dismantle A Quarter Pounder With Cheese (More U2 Parodies!!!)


sassyfan
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Welcome to the 4th UChew collection...

in case you missed the old batches:

http://community.u2.com/topic/9289

http://community.u2.com/topic/10625

http://community.u2.com/topic/13933


Inspiration strikes again & the roomful of monkeys in my brain are catering another party in the land of U2 parodies! One day they will complete the grand mission of parodying every U2 song to the theme of food. Perhaps there's a book in it. Perhaps there's youtube videos to be made. Perhaps someone will blog about it. Perhaps I'm just crazy & I'm just doing this purely for my own damn enjoyment. Perhaps I'm pretty clever. Perhaps I just have too much time on my hands.

Regardless, please enjoy the new batch and, as always, let me know what you think!!!

Tracklisting

Who's Gonna Try Your "Mild" Sauces
Ultradiet (Lighten My Weight)
The Grind Beneath Her Teeth
Window Thru The Drive
The Fry
The Refusee
Fartland

--------------

Who's Gonna Try Your "Mild" Sauces
Parody of "Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses"

They're dangerous
Let's be honest
"They're dangerous"
It should read in a large font
Well, one left my mouth
Burning Hiroshima hot
Stuff that no one should want

Hey hey hot hot hot
Hey hey

A nuclear accident
Waiting to happen
A bomb test straight out
Of Bikini beach
Well, you put in things
I know it's illegal to
I fear that my breathing will cease

Hey hey hot hot hot
Hey hey hot hot hot

Who's gonna try your "mild" sauces?
Who's gonna survive your "light" chili?
Who's gonna try your "mild" sauces?
Who's gonna fall down on their knees?

Well, you made it
'Cause you're truly an ass
And you filled it
So that one must wear Depends
Well, you tried killing me
But I guess I asked for it
Maybe, we shouldn't be friends

Hey hey hot hot hot
Hey hey hot hot hot

Who's gonna try your "mild" sauces?
Who's gonna survive your "light" chili?
Who's gonna try your "mild" sauces?
Who's gonna fall down on their knees?

Oh, the hotness sinks in
Oh, the angush begins
It's like acid on skin
Cooked alive in burning pain
Beyond taste where the tongue is in flames
Gimme ice to freeze
The river of lava pouring through me
Habaneros
Even stripped those
Have got me choking
Ripping my clothes

A burn profound, a burn profound again
A burn profound, it's off the charts
A burn profound, a burn profound again
A burn profound, a heart attack
Come on now, man
Don't you serve that!

Who's gonna try your "mild" sauces?
Who's gonna survive your "light" chili?
Who's gonna try your "mild" sauces?
Who's gonna have a heart that's seized?
Who's gonna try your "mild" sauces?
Who's gonna burst in flames, you'll see...

--------------

Ultradiet (Lighten My Weight)
Parody of "Parody of "Utraviolet (Light My Way)"

Sometimes I feel like a dozen tacos
Sometimes I feel like chicken take out
I wanna lose some pounds
Can't always be strong
And, lunch, it comes around

Oh sugar, say goodbye
Oh rinds, these pork ears are unwise
You know I need to lose some pounds
And the weight is now marked
And I'll right my wrongs
Meals, not trash, i'll make some cuisine
I'm just too fat, can't wait to be lean

Baby baby baby, lighten my weight
No fries now
Baby baby baby, lighten my weight

You bury your burger with just more beef ground
But your lunch is no secret, it's really not sound
There is a science that will help out a louse
To watch what he eats
I guess it's the price of health
You know fast food ain't cheap

Baby baby baby, lighten my weight
Low fat now
Baby baby baby, lighten my weight

Oh come on
Baby baby baby, lighten my weight
Low carb chow
Baby baby baby, lighten my weight

Ultradiet lunch
Ultradiet lunch
Ultradiet lunch
Ultradiet lunch

Baby baby baby, lighten my weight

I remember when I passed those gallstones
Now we diet together with rice cakes & groans
When I fessed up that I ate a whole pizza in my bed
You looked like you wished that a bat was
Banging over my head

Baby baby baby, lighten my weight
Oh come on
Baby baby baby, lighten my weight

Ultradiet lunch
Ultradiet lunch
Ultradiet lunch
Ultradiet lunch

Baby baby baby
Baby baby baby
Baby baby baby, lighten my weight, yeah
Baby baby baby
Baby baby baby
Baby baby baby, lighten my weight
Baby baby baby
Baby baby baby, lighten my weight
Baby baby baby
Lighten my weight

--------------

The Grind Beneath Her Teeth
Parody of "The Ground Beneath Her Feet"

Through the night, I listened to her
I had no choice, I'd hear her eat
How hearing it made me feel
Chowing down on her meal
Just the grind beneath her teeth
Just the grind beneath her teeth

And now I can't say anything
Tact is nice but so is sleep
For what words I slip
Will not go my way
About the grind beneath her teeth
About the grind beneath her teeth

Tread lightly around what words I say
Tread lightly 'bout the sounds
Maybe tell her some other day
For rest will not be found

Let me tell you
The fear's not undue
She once hit me for watching her eat
Oh, and if I cough
She'll tear my limbs off
Tear 'em off...

Let me tell you
The fear's not undue
She could kill me with one hand free
Let me tell you
She'd come all unglued
If I asked she close her mouth to eat

--------------

Window Thru The Drive
Parody of "Window In The Sky"

The snacks call for a run
The wallets pooled a sum
The meat that's in the bun
They'll heat up in a second
The fool in the drive-thru
Takes our orders when we move
We ask for half their menu
All debit cards approved

Oh, can't you see what you guys have done?
Oh, can't you see what you guys have done?
Oh, can't you see what you guys have done?
This burger has no cheese!

Though it cost you mere pennies
You charged us 50 cents for cheese
So we'll excuse this slip up, jeez
You can fix it with ease
But the fries are cold, it seems
What trash did you find these greens?
Where did they hire you fiends,
You dumb apathetic teens?

Oh, can't you see what you guys have done?
Oh, can't you see what you guys have done?
Oh, can't you see what you guys have done?
We're not that hard to please

Ooh ooh oh oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Ooh ooh oh oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Please, do your jobs so we're out of here
Have you no shame?
Oh no, oh no

Oh, can't you see what you guys have done?
Oh, can't you see?
Oh, can't you see what you guys have done?
Where is the quality?!

I know I bored you and I made you sigh
Clearly it's us customers that you despise
You man a window thru the drive
While you insincerely apologize

For every token smile
And every smile dies
You man a window thru the drive
While you insincerely apologize

Ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh
Oh, can't you see
Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh

--------------

The Fry
Parody of "The Fly"

It's no secret that beef tallow is in a McDonald's fry
It's no secret that they make for the perfect side
They say the salt content is sometimes eclipsed by a soup
You know I don't really care when you pick on my food

It's no secret that girlfriends will eat all of our fries
It's no secret that a fryer will instantly calorize
They say the secret to something is an oil immersion
So just fry me something, child

Lunch, we dine from a frying vat
Having fries all the time, that's right
A man will wait
A man will salt
For the sheer taste is a drug
Just a fry from a stall
It's no secret at all

It's no secret being health conscious can sometimes be a pest
It's no secret nutrition really needs to be addressed
Every calorie must be crucial, every fat gram causes grief
All this to prevent operations and XXXL briefs
Oh my

Lunch, we dine from a frying vat
Having fries all the time, that's right
A man will wait
A man will salt
For the sheer taste is a drug
Just a fry from a stall
It's no secret at all

It's no secret that a salad bar is where you will eat right
Your cholesterol exploding 'cause of a diet of fries
Look, I gotta eat, yeah my blood sugar's getting low
All this talk of food is making me crave potatoes

--------------

The Refusee
Parody of "The Refugee"

Woah, woah...
She is the refusee
I see her plate
I see her plate returning back to me
Woah, woah...
She is the refusee
The waiter says one day
He's gonna finally snap

In the meantime
She is waiting
Waiting for the next dish to send
Send away

Woah, woah...
The papaya garnish's poor
If it's not right
She's calling for the manager
Woah, woah...
The waiter is getting sore
He says that one day he's gonna
Really make her pay

Screw her
How can we make her leave?

In the meantime
She is waiting
Waiting for the waiter to
Bring her another plate
And utensils cleaned by hand

Woah, woah...
Another dish we waste
She's OCD'ing
All over the place
Woah, woah...
Another dish we waste
Now the waiter he says
He just can't take her crap

Woah, woah...
She is the refusee
I see her plate
I see her plate returning back to me
Woah, woah...
She is the refusee
The waiter says today
She's going to get a slap

--------------

Fartland
Parody of "Heartland"

Hear her bum supply it upwind
Don't smell it
Hear her bum supply it upwind
Much to your chagrin
You start choking
And the flatulence
Turns foul and pungent

Beans & broccoli
And fake crab meat
A six pack, collard greens
Ol' cheeses tried
Eggs and cabbage dishes
Lots of things with curry

She's a fartland
She's a farting girl
She's a fartland
Didn't know
She was a fartland
Fartland
Fartland

It's no fun listening to her spin
She says it's from a passing man
She even fans her nose with her hand
But she is bereft of
A word that's sincere
And the poisoned air
Brings a flood of tears
Though you pinch your nostrils
She dutch ovened matter
You're soured from the ordeal
Relief can't be called upon

She's a fartland
She's a farting girl
She's a fartland
Onions sowed
She was a fartland
Fartland
Fartland
Tuna casserole
Now she's a fartland
Fartland
Fartland

--------------

UChew is:

Bon Appetit - vocals, guitar
The Fridge - guitar, keyboards, vocals
Ida Weightons - bass
Cherry Soda Jr. - drums, percussion

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Thanks! I'm enjoying how much people enjoy these parodies & the response has been terrific! Do check out my other batches that i've linked. In fact, so far, here's the entire list so far, including the ones above. I'm getting some distance in my goal of doing every U2 song to the theme of food!

 

Where The Meats Have No Grade

Miracle Whip

Venti-To-Go

Plentiful Buffet

Ziti Of Blindingly Hot Spices

With Or Without Au Jus

Diet (In The Shame Of Love For Food)

New Hire

Sundae Fudgy Sundae

Get Out Your Menus

I’ll Get Crazy Bread If We Get Little Caesars Tonight

Cool Me, Pour Me, Miss Me, Spill Me

Foodropa

All You Want Is Food

Mastication

Running A Fry Stand

Even Butter Can’t Save This Thing

Salad

Sometimes You Can’t Bake It On Your Own

Salami

MiLK

Gullet The Blueberry Pie

A Sort Of Homecooking

Baby Food

I Still Can’t Astound Who I’m Cooking For

In Mom’s Cooking

Lunch Rescue Me

Wonton

Microwave

Mysterious Glaze

The Undigestable Supper

Food Station

The Onion Rings

Ingredients

I Will Swallow

Missing Saran Wrap

Your Brew Room

New Cheese Plate

All Because Of Juice

Some Meat Fill

Ain’t Gel, It’s Our Phlegm

Some Souffles Are Better Than Mother’s

When Lunch Turns To Pounds

Crisco Wreck

Lunch Is Mindless

Who's Gonna Try Your "Mild" Sauces

Ultradiet (Lighten My Weight)

The Grind Beneath Her Teeth

Window Thru The Drive

The Fry

The Refusee

Fartland

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Subscriber

Thanks! I'm enjoying how much people enjoy these parodies & the response has been terrific! Do check out my other batches that i've linked. In fact, so far, here's the entire list so far, including the ones above. I'm getting some distance in my goal of doing every U2 song to the theme of food!

 

Where The Meats Have No Grade

Miracle Whip

Venti-To-Go

Plentiful Buffet

Ziti Of Blindingly Hot Spices

With Or Without Au Jus

Diet (In The Shame Of Love For Food)

New Hire

Sundae Fudgy Sundae

Get Out Your Menus

I’ll Get Crazy Bread If We Get Little Caesars Tonight

Cool Me, Pour Me, Miss Me, Spill Me

Foodropa

All You Want Is Food

Mastication

Running A Fry Stand

Even Butter Can’t Save This Thing

Salad

Sometimes You Can’t Bake It On Your Own

Salami

MiLK

Gullet The Blueberry Pie

A Sort Of Homecooking

Baby Food

I Still Can’t Astound Who I’m Cooking For

In Mom’s Cooking

Lunch Rescue Me

Wonton

Microwave

Mysterious Glaze

The Undigestable Supper

Food Station

The Onion Rings

Ingredients

I Will Swallow

Missing Saran Wrap

Your Brew Room

New Cheese Plate

All Because Of Juice

Some Meat Fill

Ain’t Gel, It’s Our Phlegm

Some Souffles Are Better Than Mother’s

When Lunch Turns To Pounds

Crisco Wreck

Lunch Is Mindless

Who's Gonna Try Your "Mild" Sauces

Ultradiet (Lighten My Weight)

The Grind Beneath Her Teeth

Window Thru The Drive

The Fry

The Refusee

Fartland

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