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UCHEW: SOY (EVEN MORE U2 PARODIES!!!!)


sassyfan
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Thank you for enjoying the FIFTH EDITION of U2 parodies. It is my goal to parody every U2 song possible in the theme of food with such titles as "With Or Without Au Jus" or "Sundae Fudgy Sundae".

 

In case you're new, here are the previous editions:

 

http://community.u2.com/topic/9289

 

http://community.u2.com/topic/10625

 

http://community.u2.com/topic/13933

 

http://community.u2.com/topic/14287

 

As always, I would very much enjoy hearing your thoughts or, heck, just gimme an LOL!

 

Pass these along to a fellow U2 fan!!!

 

(And, as people have wonderfully suggested, a website is being currently built to house these parodies!)

 

Enjoy!

 

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Tracklisting 

 

Stained (Washaway, Soiled Clothes!)

Cheese

Original Of The Recipes

Two Parts: Meat And Bun

Salmon

Seconds

Oktoberfest

--------------

 

Stained (Washaway, Soiled Clothes!)

Parody of "Stay (Faraway, So Close!)"

 

Green blight, a smudge of cayenne

You dropped bits from a snack of chocolates

You spilled Coke and Mountain Dew

Hey now, a speck that's strange

 

Messed up from a beer bash

Your meals are turning whites to brown

If you had your wits about you

You'd be fine

But the dirt is showing right through

To the other side

Come on now, give us a break

 

Red site, greasy ring

You fumbled with a bowl of beef ground

Your attire so far from prim

Your friends don't stick around

You used to take up

Laundering your shirts

In the sink

In the bathroom

 

And is that gook... some gooked-up pee?

Why do you balk... at being clean?

I'm scared to touch you

You're covered with things

 

If there's a stain,

Then you might want to wipe it up

Stained, and you may earn some disgust

Stained, before those get too tough

 

Washaway, soiled clothes

Find out which fabric or cotton ratio

With a colour safe composition

You can wash anything

Ramie,

Denim Jeans,

Lycra,

Satin

Or Linen

 

And if there's no Cheer... or even All

And if there's no Tide... or BioWashBall

Reach for the Shout... it just might help you

 

If there's a stain,

Then you might want to wipe it up

Stained, or you may earn some disgust

Stained, before those get too tough

 

Three o'clock in the morning

At the laundromat, there's no one around

Just the clang and the clatter as your laundry's goin' round

Just the clang and the clatter as your laundry's goin' round

 

--------------

 

Cheese

Parody of "Please"

 

So you'll never know love

Until you try some Milbenkäse

And you leave Edam unwanted

Till one day you'll stuff your face

You haven't felt deprived

Until you've tried my Grevé

 

You'll have Bursztyn,

You'll taste some CaÅŸ

Love Kashkaval

Even Mandjeskaas

Your lovely Rocheforts

Your delicious Brie

And tasty Affligems

And Havartis

 

Cheese

Cheese

Cheese

You'll live for Oltermanni

Cheese

Cheese

Cheese

Please!

 

So you never knew

A love for Maredsous

A shame is all

And you never knew

That there's to be found

Joy in Idiazabal

So you never knew

What a heavenly Chhurpi

Extolled

 

Your Yorkshire Blues,

Your Waterloos,

Your smooth Romadurs

And rich Panquehues

Your Appledores

Your aged Cheddars

A serving or two

Of Vacherin Mont d'Or

 

Cheese

Cheese

Cheese

Have a bit of Bleubry

Cheese

Please

We've some Santarém

 

Some cheeses are hard

And some are soft

Some cheeses are old

And stink a lot

 

Camembert

Creamy Pinconning

Wensleydale

Monterey

Some world class

Grated Coleraine

And it's much better than

Kraft Parmesan

Leerdammer

Spread of Liptauer

Limburger

Pustertaler

Emmentaler

Aren't you sick of just American?

 

Cheese

Cheese

Please

Try this Anari

Cheese

Cheese

Cheese!

 

Some cheeses you'll dig

Don't be such a wuss

Here's something mild

Try this Dunlop

 

What is the big deal?

Just have it with your meal

You know I think you're just naive

And that, my friend,

Is my one pet peeve

 

--------------

 

Original Of The Recipes

Parody of "Original Of The Species"

 

Baby, chow down

This blend isn't done but it's a start

Please, criticize

I won't take it to heart

 

If it's KFC that you want

Well, I can spare you the jaunt

This is the first batch, bear in mind

 

If you feel like it's just like before

A meal that you just might adore

Ideal 'cause I can make you some more

There's more I got if it hits the spot

A lot of chicken that I bought

 

11 different herbs and spices

We don't have to pay ridiculous prices

 

Some wings just shouldn't have so much fat

Like Popeye's, Church's and KFC's

Some things have way too much cholesterol, baby

Maybe

 

If it's KFC that you want

Well, I can spare you the jaunt

All this from scratch, bear in mind

 

If you feel like it's just like before

A meal that you might adore

Ideal 'cause I can make you some more

There's more I got if it hits the spot

A lot of chicken that I bought

 

11 different herbs and spices

We don't have to pay ridiculous prices

Oh no, oh no no no no no no

There's half the salt

Colonel Sanders, I've reached my goal

Your secret's no longer under your control!

 

11 different herbs and spices

We don't have to pay ridiculous prices

11 different herbs and spices

Oh, my my

 

If you feel like it's just like before

A meal that you might adore

Ideal 'cause I can make you some more

Do you want some more?

Do you want some more?

 

Oh no, oh no

Oh no, oh no no no no

 

--------------

 

Two Parts: Meat And Bun

Parody of "Two Hearts Beat As One"

 

You don't know

You don't know which side of bun

Does the meat go right or left

You won't last here long

They say you're in school

They say you're learning

But since you're new here

I'll stress one thing

 

Two parts: meat and bun

Two parts: meat and bun

Two parts

 

This ain't rocket science

Trainee, this is your last chance

Add bread to meat. Sandwich.

Maybe you don't grasp the nuance

 

Two parts: meat and bun

Two parts: meat and bun

Two parts

 

Meat on bun, meat on right

Meat then cheese, just get it right

Meat on you?

Meat on me?!

Meat on floor?!!

Arrgh!

 

I don't know what to say

Were your folks inbred?

I don't expect you to be that bright

But it seems you're brain dead

For a pickle in every bite

Repeat as I do

Condiments are strictly rationed

Onions you'll add a smear

Dispenser's pump action

Put mustard & ketchup here

 

Two parts: meat and bun

Two parts: meat and bun

Two parts

 

I've tried

To spell it out

I can't explain it simpler:

Crown, meat, heel

Oh, yeah

That's three parts

 

Well, I gave you a chance

Maybe you don't grasp the nuance

I said I gave you a chance

Maybe you don't grasp the nuance

I said I gave you a chance

Maybe you don't grasp the nuance

I said I gave you a chance

Maybe you don't grasp the nuance

I said I gave you a chance

Maybe you don't grasp the nuance

I said I gave you a chance

Maybe you don't grasp the nuance

 

--------------

 

Salmon

Parody of "Lemon"

 

Salmon,

Seafood makes me turn white

She made salmon,

Endeavors I take a small bite

She's gonna make a sigh

She's gonna promise that there's no bones

"Try it fried," she says

I wonder if she can hear me groan

 

And I feel

As I slowly, slowly, slowly start to wonder

That this meal's

Like I never said nothing

 

She made salmon,

And made it out of cold, dark spite

So we're having

That or nothing tonight

 

A man must endure

Must always endure

A wife interested in seeing how far she can push

A man will soon waiver

A man's burden to bear

He turns his money

Into food that only she prefers

 

And I feel

Like she's shifting, shifting, shifting things some more

And I feel

Like it's all become a blur

 

One bite and she's the one who wins

One bite and she's the one who wins

One bite and she's the one who wins

One bite and she's the one who wins

 

Salmon,

That's what caused our big fight

 

A man buys a house

With bank loan & collateral

A man meets a nice girl

And then the knot is tied

(At first it's all great there)

A man builds a bar

(Then cold realization)

And she decides it's a salon

(All things you must confer)

A man's dreams he's grieving

(Her authorization)

When finally he's resigned

 

And one of these days

When from work you come asunder

And one of these days

You will ask for something other

 

One bite and she's the one who wins

One bite and she's the one who wins

One bite and she's the one who wins

One bite and she's the one who wins

 

A man must endure

Must always endure

A wife interested in seeing how far she can go

(You're gonna get that glare)

A man tries gaining favour

(She has expectations)

A man soon gets scared

(You haven't got a prayer)

He says, "yes, honey"

(Sad situation)

And his plans will line up with hers

 

Salmon

(She's a real screamer,

She's got projection)

She made salmon

(Tonight she has selected

To start pitching all your clothes)

Over salmon

 

--------------

 

Seconds

Parody of "Seconds"

 

I'll take seconds

My appetite's

Unsatisfied

Unsatisfied

I'll take seconds

My appetite's

Unsatisfied

Unsatisfied

 

Unsatisfied

Gonna get some more chow

 

Corned beef hash has caught my eye

Chicken breast, baked or fried

Lots of meat under hot lights

Salad bar just to the right

 

(Haul, rise and haul, rise and)

 

There are butter mints & fudge squares

Pecan pies & cakes to spare

Helped myself

To the souffle

A lineup to the buffet

I see ducks carved

Nanaimo bars

Cross buns, roast pork, shrimp rings

And I would bet

And I would bet there's even wings

 

(Haul, rise and haul, rise and)

 

Unsatisfied

Unsatisfied, unsatisfied

Unsatisfied, unsatisfied

Appetite

 

I'll take seconds

My appetite's

Unsatisfied

Unsatisfied

Lamb or mutton

Beer by the jug

Unsatisfied

 

(Haul, rise and haul, rise and

Again I rise and haul

I rise and haul)

 

And before they think we're done

I think it's time we both dine & run

Yes, before our server comes

Well, after a plate of prawns

 

Unsatisfied

Unsatisfied, unsatisfied

Unsatisfied, unsatisfied

Appetite

 

--------------

 

Oktoberfest

Parody of "October"

 

Oktoberfest

und alle Fässchen klopften

und wir tragen leiderhosen

ich sorge mich nicht

 

Oktoberfest

der Biersaal steigt

und Biersaal fällt

aber Sie gehen weiter

"O'zapft is!"

 

(Translation)

 

Oktoberfest

and the kegs are all tapped,

and we wear leiderhosen

I do not worry

 

Oktoberfest

your beer halls rise

and your beer halls fall

but you go

"It's tapped!"

 

--------------

 

UChew is:

 

Bon Appetit - vocals, guitar

The Fridge - guitar, keyboards, vocals

Ida Weightons - bass

Cherry Soda Jr. - drums, percussion

 

--------------

 

The Complete UChew Discography So Far:

Where The Meats Have No Grade

Miracle Whip

Venti-To-Go

Plentiful Buffet

Ziti Of Blindingly Hot Spices

With Or Without Au Jus

Diet (In The Shame Of Love For Food)

New Hire

Sundae Fudgy Sundae

Get Out Your Menus

I’ll Get Crazy Bread If We Get Little Caesars Tonight

Cool Me, Pour Me, Miss Me, Spill Me

Foodropa

All You Want Is Food

Mastication

Running A Fry Stand

Even Butter Can’t Save This Thing

Salad

Sometimes You Can’t Bake It On Your Own

Salami

MiLK

Gullet The Blueberry Pie

A Sort Of Homecooking

Baby Food

I Still Can’t Astound Who I’m Cooking For

In Mom’s Cooking

Lunch Rescue Me

Wonton

Microwave

Mysterious Glaze

The Undigestable Supper

Food Station

The Onion Rings

Ingredients

I Will Swallow

Missing Saran Wrap

Your Brew Room

New Cheese Plate

All Because Of Juice

Some Meat Fill

Ain’t Gel, It’s Our Phlegm

Some Souffles Are Better Than Mother’s

When Lunch Turns To Pounds

Crisco Wreck

Lunch Is Mindless

Who's Gonna Try Your "Mild" Sauces

Ultradiet (Lighten My Weight)

The Grind Beneath Her Teeth

Window Thru The Drive

The Fry

The Refusee

Fartland

Stained (Washaway, Soiled Clothes!)

Cheese

Original Of The Recipes

Two Parts: Meat And Bun

Salmon

Seconds

Oktoberfest

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