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Resilience


PiChU
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Just wrote this on my blog, and something is telling me to put it here as well.

"Resilience"

There are too little things that make me angry, I'm always easy going, but there is one thing that really pisses me off.
I hate people who want to cause pity, I hate it when someone had a bad day and are so self absorbed thinking the world is too busy revolving around them to make it even worst, I hate it when others want to show off their disgraces, as if they wanted to say "Admire me! I've been through this much".Pity for me is the lowest form of disrespect, and the highest sign of how little you love yourself, If you had a bad day, get over yourself, don't try to appear strong for carrying a bad situation with a depressing face, I wish people could see how short life is to take it that seriously, I wish people could understand that true strength relies on your capacity to go on as if it was the best day of your life, because that's the hard way to do it, because anybody can cry.

"Resilience in psychology is the positive capacity of people to cope with stress and catastrophe. It also includes the ability to bounce back to homeostasis after a disruption. Thirdly, it can be used to indicate having an adaptive system that uses exposure to stress to provide resistance to future negative events."
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I wish people could see how short life is to take it that seriously, I wish people could understand that true strength relies on your capacity to go on as if it was the best day of your life, because that's the hard way to do it, because anybody can cry.

"Resilience in psychology is the positive capacity of people to cope with stress and catastrophe. It also includes the ability to bounce back to homeostasis after a disruption. Thirdly, it can be used to indicate having an adaptive system that uses exposure to stress to provide resistance to future negative events."
I like what you have written. I see your point and for me the situation you desrcibe isn't so much the pity that bothers me... it is the negativity that some people carry with it. Always dwelling on the negatives...always being negative...doing NOTHING to change it.

 

Everybody has sadness and sorrow that deserves pity I think... but you need to let it go and look to the future and be positive about the future, not negative.

 

This is easier said than done though...it is easy to become hard and bitter.

 

Reminds me of a lyric in Kite..."hardness, it sets in...you need some protection...the thinner the skin" I really resonate with this line...I have turned into a hard serious arse the last couple of years...I don't like to admit this, I am not proud of it... BUT...being hard and cold is like a shell and shelter protecting you from the elements this world throws at you.

 

I really like what you said about not taking life too seriously. Sometimes it is easier said than done though. I mean have you looked at the world?? It reminds me of another song by one of my favourite singers, John Mayer..."the great indoors"..."I have seen the world, and sometimes wish your room had room for two".

 

Also another U2 lyric "when you look at the world, what is that you see..........I can't see what you see, when I look at the world".

 

Some people describe me as being such a pessimist... others an optimist. I don't know myself what I am.

 

Sorry...I think my post is being so self-absorbed the very thing you are complaining about in your blog. Is this ironic?

 

Maybe it is that your blog post has struck a nerve in me, as sometimes I feel myself trapped in the situation you are describing...and it is a hideous situation. So serious and hard. It is like "get over yourself and just live life!"

 

Resilience is a strange thing. Everyone copes differently to different situations...so how can there be one measure of resilience.

 

For some people, this pity thing is the way they cope. This makes them feel stronger or gives them strength?

 

I think it is an interesting topic.. and thanks for sharing your blog and thoughts on it... I really like your outlook...and "wish I could see what you see...when I look at the world"

 

smile.gif

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everyone has bad days and bad things happenen to them... you cant/musnt ignore them! and i think if you feel like crying; just cry.... it can be a relief and others feeling with you (not for you) can be incouragement.

 

in other cultures people take a lot of time to moun...together. its a group-experience and it brings them closer to eachother... in the western-modern world, there's this view that showing your feelings is a weakness and you should just go on in life without complaining...

 

no one can judge eather one... but some therapists say that recognizing your grief , acknowledging it and overcome it is necessary to walk on:

 

and i know it aches

and your heart it breakes

you can only take so much

walk on

you've got to leave it behind

 

all that we've been through makes us who we are... and talking bout it can help others to acknowledge and walk on too.

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Just wrote this on my blog, and something is telling me to put it here as well.

"Resilience"

There are too little things that make me angry, I'm always easy going, but there is one thing that really pisses me off.
I hate people who want to cause pity, I hate it when someone had a bad day and are so self absorbed thinking the world is too busy revolving around them to make it even worst, I hate it when others want to show off their disgraces, as if they wanted to say "Admire me! I've been through this much". Pity for me is the lowest form of disrespect, and the highest sign of how little you love yourself, If you had a bad day, get over yourself, don't try to appear strong for carrying a bad situation with a depressing face, I wish people could see how short life is to take it that seriously, I wish people could understand that true strength relies on your capacity to go on as if it was the best day of your life, because that's the hard way to do it, because anybody can cry.

"Resilience in psychology is the positive capacity of people to cope with stress and catastrophe. It also includes the ability to bounce back to homeostasis after a disruption. Thirdly, it can be used to indicate having an adaptive system that uses exposure to stress to provide resistance to future negative events."
So we were wrong to feel pity when you posted that your boyfriend has stomach cancer?
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Have you ever thought that people may not love themselvesdue to the fact that something or someone has made them feel that way? In mybook it's not necessarily pity that drives people to do this it's the idea thatpeople want support love and understanding? Why should people bottle it up thatcreates more distress and can lead to things that could harm that person?

 

 I'm not saying that everyone has to CARE about anyone elsebut themselves but at the end of the day specially in a place like this forumwhere people have friends and have a mutual admiration for a band the surelythey can express themselves in a anonymous environment as they may feel it’sactually better for them. The same way you wrote that blog!

 

Also for the recorded I’ve suffered from Clinical depressionand believe me if that was just about pity it would be so much easier to livewith.

 

But whatever each to their own.

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I hate it when some one takes a few college classes and thinks they know the ways of the world....

and didn't this same person once do a thread on how she couldn't live at home anymore...and that she would be out of the home and all? I guess they didn't want us to feel sorry for them then......

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I hate it when some one takes a few college classes and thinks they know the ways of the world....

and didn't this same person once do a thread on how she couldn't live at home anymore...and that she would be out of the home and blah blah blah? I guess they didn't want us to feel sorry for them then......

She wrote a few about how things affect her! Maybe it's her that wants the world to revolve around her and her only! I'm no saint but you know eyes.gif
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Hey everyone

 

I know everyone has blue days ... I think Pichu is talking about self-pity though...and people complaining about how hard their life is. This is super-annoying...and it is usually self-absorbed people. I used to be like this A LOT ...a little better now...but I don't think it is resilience that has made me better - it is just so much energy complaining about it... either CHANGE the situation, or SHUT the F up!!!

 

Whilst I don't mind self-pity every once in a while - as I said, everyone has blue days... it is being stuck in it that bothers me, the negativity and refusal to see the light in life...people with the victim mentality and who are just so damn negative all the time.

 

Not sure if you know anyone like this - but it is damn annoying. This woman I know is just so negative all the time it becomes a drag being around people like this and you feel like hitting them on the head and saying "wake up!!! life is precious!!!!"..

but you don't...you have a bit of compassion....but how far does the compassion extend????

 

There is a quote, not sure who said it...it goes "be kind. for everyone is fighting their own battle"... SO TRUE!

I remind myself of this to practice a bit of compassion.

 

Hardest thing in life is showing compassion to those who have not shown any to you. The world is full of vultures....but we have to remember, every one of them is Gods creation right and fighting their own battle.

 

BTW I am always talking about situations and things people are going through - this is what interaction is all about and getting to know one another - sharing life experiences...

There are many people in the world that unless you are happy all the time - they want nothing to do with you. They don't care about you, unless you are winning!

As I said before, the world is a hard cold place.

Peolpe are just doing what they need to in order to survive - this is what I meant when I said I am a serious person all the time - putting up this shell and wall is easier than being upset - because most people do not care about what you are going through.

 

Maybe it is the western world not showing emotion that makes us all this way.

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