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The funnies thread

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Wet towels! always the wet towel on the bed soaking through the duvet, drives me nuts!!

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The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time towrite this all down

   Finally , the guys' side of thestory. 
( I must admit, it's pretty good.) 
We always hear "
the rules" 
From the female side
....  Now here are the rules from themale side.   
These are ourrules! 
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " 
ON PURPOSE! 
1. Men are NOTmind readers. 
( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE) 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. 
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. 
We need it up, you need it down. 
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon 
or the changing of the tides. 
Let it be. 

1.. Crying is blackmail. 

1. Ask for what you want. 
Let us be clear on this one: 
Subtle hints do not work! 
Strong hints do not work! 
Obvious hints do not work! 
Just say it! 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 

1. Come to us with a problem 
only if you want help solving it. That'swhat we do. 
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. 
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. 
Don't ask us. 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makesyou sad or angry, we meant the 
 other one 

1. You can either ask us to do something 
or tell us how you want it done. 
Not both. 
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. 

1. Christopher Columbus did 
NOT need directions and neither do we. 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. 
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have 
no idea what mauve is. 

1. If it itches, it 
will be scratched. 
We do that. 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act likenothing's wrong. 
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer youdon't want to hear. 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... 
Really . 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discusssuch topics as football 
or hockey. 

1. You have enough clothes. 

1. You have too many shoes. 

1. I am in shape.  
Round IS a shape! 

1. Thank you for reading this. 
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; 


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. 

Pass this to as many men as you can - 
to give them a laugh. 

Pass this to as many women as you can- to give them a bigger laugh.

 

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[quote name='Zhivvy wrote:


barbara1']too funny, zhiv!! is that how you guys do the shower-ritual???
roll.gifroll.gifroll.gif

I think if you think to how our hubbies shower etc..... I think that this is pretty much accurate!

pretty, but if you guys can keep a secret, i know my love has issues with his body too...its not just ladies who want things to look different, you know.

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Version:1.0StartHTML:0000000105EndHTML:0000012388StartFragment:0000002763EndFragment:0000012352

The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time towrite this all down

   Finally , the guys' side of thestory. 

( I must admit, it's pretty good.) 

We always hear "the rules" 

From the female side....  Now here are the rules from themale side.   

These are ourrules! 

Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " 

ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOTmind readers. 

( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE) 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. 

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. 

We need it up, you need it down. 

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 

 

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon 

or the changing of the tides. 

Let it be. 

 

1.. Crying is blackmail. 

 

1. Ask for what you want. 

Let us be clear on this one: 

Subtle hints do not work! 

Strong hints do not work! 

Obvious hints do not work! 

Just say it! 

 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 

 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That'swhat we do. 

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 

 

 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. 

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 

 

 

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. 

Don't ask us. 

 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makesyou sad or angry, we meant the  other one 

1. You can either ask us to do something 

or tell us how you want it done. 

Not both. 

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 

 

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. 

 

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 

 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. 

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 

 

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. 

We do that. 

 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act likenothing's wrong. 

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 

 

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer youdon't want to hear. 

 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really . 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discusssuch topics as football 

or hockey. 

 

1. You have enough clothes. 

 

1. You have too many shoes. 

 

1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape! 

 

1. Thank you for reading this. 

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; 

 

 

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. 

 

Pass this to as many men as you can - 

to give them a laugh. 

Pass this to as many women as you can- to give them a bigger laugh.

 

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The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time towrite this all down

   Finally , the guys' side of thestory. 
( I must admit, it's pretty good.) 
We always hear "
the rules" 
From the female side
....  Now here are the rules from themale side.   
These are ourrules! 
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " 
ON PURPOSE! 
1. Men are NOTmind readers. 
( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE) 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. 
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. 
We need it up, you need it down. 
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon 
or the changing of the tides. 
Let it be. 

1.. Crying is blackmail. 

1. Ask for what you want. 
Let us be clear on this one: 
Subtle hints do not work! 
Strong hints do not work! 
Obvious hints do not work! 
Just say it! 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 

1. Come to us with a problem 
only if you want help solving it. That'swhat we do. 
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. 
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. 
Don't ask us. 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makesyou sad or angry, we meant the 
 other one 

1. You can either ask us to do something 
or tell us how you want it done. 
Not both. 
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. 

1. Christopher Columbus did 
NOT need directions and neither do we. 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. 
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have 
no idea what mauve is. 

1. If it itches, it 
will be scratched. 
We do that. 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act likenothing's wrong. 
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer youdon't want to hear. 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... 
Really . 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discusssuch topics as football 
or hockey. 

1. You have enough clothes. 

1. You have too many shoes. 

1. I am in shape.  
Round IS a shape! 

1. Thank you for reading this. 
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; 


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. 

Pass this to as many men as you can - 
to give them a laugh. 

Pass this to as many women as you can- to give them a bigger laugh.

 

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how quick does these things travel?? my dad showed my mam and me this same mail last friday! in dutch obviously... i really had a great laugh. but i also realized my man is not a real man. cause most of these things don apply to him. and when i told him bout it, he said the description suited me much more, lol!

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Spooky! It's doing the rounds it seems!

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Love that Anj - and so so true lol!!!!

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love0007.gif
she: did you ever cheat on me?

He: No. why would you ask me that??

love0038.gif
she: do you wanna kiss me?

He: every time i get the chance!
vahidrk.gif
she: will you ever hit me?

He: are you crazy? i'm just not like that!

she: can i trust you?

he: yes.

she:     darling
Vishenka_04.gif

after 20 "happily married years" ... read it from the bottom up...


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