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The first step is the hardest


wahine
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I'm with you. Anything you need.

Think positive

I know this must sound not too good, but I feel (and many studies say so), we have abilities and skills to cure our selves, maybe we don´t know well how to do it.

With the doctor, but think positive, meditate.

 

My mother died from bone cancer, she started with brest cancer. There was no drug that get her better, but there are many people who live with cancer for many years, and still live with treatment. So, why the difference between my mother and those people, I mean, her brest cancer was detected early, she got cirgury, everuthing allright.

I belive, (and we shared the same thought with my father) she had repressed emotions that could probably gave her the cancer. I saw a video that says we all have the gens to have disases and certain behaviours, but in some people these gens get awake while in other people the gens remain asleep. So, the big question is why?????

 

I'm not saying this is going to cure you, but with my deepest good feelings to you I tell you relax, think positive, liberate your fear, your anger, all the shite we all have inside, release it. Forgive yourself and forgive others.

 

If you need me I'm here like all the people who expressed so.

 

YOU'LL BE OK

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I spent the past couple of weeks just going over things and doing a lot of praying. I was suppose to get the scans done, Mammogram along with Ultrasounds, MRI and if the area they are concerned most about have a biopsy right then and there. I went to another doctor (I should have had the scans of course) but after speaking with him, getting a second opinion, he calmed me enough to where I will have the MRI done, that's what I mean they ordered so many different tests, anyhow, I was scared to death in all honesty and did not want to know if something was wrong. Sounds stupid huh? But, I was so frightened of what if it is as bad as they made me feel, they cut off your boobs, give you radiation, chemo, on and on and I can't do that. Straight up, I can't. So, both of my brothers will be here next week, all three of them together, that hasn't happened in close to 10 years, My brother from Costa Rica was here last week and is coming right back and I understand my other brother will be flying in from England, he is somewhere in Europe right now, not sure exactly where, I just felt like this whole thing was bigger than me. I am gonna go cuz something is wrong, that even I know, both doctors said yeah we need results, so much so they are calling my house. So, that's where I am, talking to God and changed the way I eat already, cut out all meat pretty much, tons of fruit and veggies, been swimming a bunch, and like I said, asking God to just make it all go away (THIS HAS ALWAYS WORKED FOR ME BEFORE IN MY LIFE!) he's never given me more than I can handle, although at times it was hard to convince me of that, I use to think he enjoyed kicking me back down) this time I need him. My brother from Costa Rica and I prayed, he flew back home, just last night we spent an hour praying and forgiving and just talking, so long story short, yeah, two doctors say for sure something is going on (all hinting at breast cancer) and I haven't even told my best friend yet that I need to get these tests that I dont want to take, he would kick my ass and drive me there himself, so I gotta go have these stupid tests and if it comes back bad, I will let you know. Now, I have to gather to courage to go, you know its just the one thing I don't wanna know. I would yell at anyone else are you crazy go now, but at this exact moment I don't want to know. I wish I never went what is this...The whole thought of it all scares the Hell outta me. I hate it and I don't feel very brave. I am not ready for anything to be wrong. 

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No, nothing is confirmed. I have seen two different doctors, both found the same thing I found, diagnosis for the Imaging Orders say Lump or mass in the breast, and then there is a RIDICULOUS amount of tests that are ordered. So, nothing has been confirmed, once I am able to be strong enough to go and get it done I'll let ya know. Until then, thank you for your prayers, I can honestly say, I am scared and I sure do appreciate your concerns. The last thing I want is anyone worrying about me, the first step was to tell the doctor something is wrong, the second step was having him confirm something is going on, the third step was getting a second opinion, next step is finding out exactly what I will be facing, I am praying its just some odd thing that happened, and all will be well but its just something I am struggling with cuz if it comes back bad everything is going to change and I am not ready for that.

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