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Achtung75
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2308395/Ask-fm-This-week-15-year-old-boy-killed-hounded-No-wonder-mothers-want-banned.html

 

Cos I'm not on Facebook I haven't been aware of Ask.fm until recently. So in case you don't know it's basically a site that allows users as young as 13 to log in and ask friends whatever questions they like about themselves or others or whatever and people can respond. But they can respond anonymously. Now our oldest daughter has an FB page which we agreed to on the basis that her Mum is a friend and that we'd access her page to ensure nothing untoward is goin' on. I was against it, but if all the kids have a page and as long as we can monitor then fine. However, I do find this Ask.fm site extremely concerning cos kids can access it through Facebook.

 

Our daughter doesn't do the Ask thing but we can see her friends pages and examples of when they've used this Ask site and it is very worrying. Kids asking simple questions is "Do you like me?" Either because they genuinely want to know or cos they're little egomaniacs and the responses range from reasonable to completely aggressive or have responses using completely unsuitable sexual language for young teens to be using. All because of anonymity. I'm sure if it's not abused it could be good for kids to gain a little more confidence if they're concerned about peer pressure if other kids are reassuring and that. But for me, the negatives outweigh the positives and this site is purely being used as a means to secretly, cowardly bully other kids. These kids are far too young to understand the implications their words can have on others and I think that the people behind the site should be raising the age to 18 before kids can use it. In the meantime, Facebook should throw it out.

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Sites like this are so worrying, The people behind setting up this site probably never thought it could end up in some cases as a social bullying site. And the fact that it is public is a major cause for concern - if something is aimed at children/young teens then it should have some kind of privacy on there to protect them. There are so many stories of internet grooming by fakes etc...

And at times kids are horrible, the really can be. Bullying has increased since the internet and for the victims it can be never ending as now it is through phones and online too. In the ideal world it could be used to boost the confidence of children at the difficult times of being a teen, and am guessing this is why it was set up in the first place, but sadly people will see it as a tool to hurt others 'just for a laugh' etc..

I am sure that the suicides which have happened are probably more complex than just that they went on that site but the comments they received on there most certainly did contribute too it. 

 

And now making sure that this site is filtered on daughter's laptop! 

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The suicides probably do have other roots but this site is contributory. The owners of this site need to accept some responsibility and take action. Like you said, kids are horrible and do not see the ripples that their words can cause.

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The owners do need to do something to make sure that something is done - even to taking the site down. And children say things at times to be purposely cruel but also can say things which can be misconstrued. Online it is not always clear to know the tone in which something is meant - a joke can be taken personally instead of in the way it is meant which can really damage the fragile self esteem of a child. It is horrible to think that such young people are feeling so low that they see that being dead is better than living 

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That site is a disgrace. There have been a couple of teen Suicides in Ireland over the last few months and Ask.fm was a central figure in all. All they need to do is simply remove the anonymity option from the site so that bullies will be easily identified. But they refuse. On that basis, I agree, it should be closed down. But we both know another 10 will replace it.
All you can do is make yourself as familiar with these sites as you can, monitor what your kid accesses and talk to her. 

Technology and social media is not going away. Its the future. So if youre kids are into it, its essential you know as much about the sites they visit as you can, cos they will join them. 

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I speak to teens quite often at work at the Samaritans. Most just feel in total despair and can't control how they are feeling and just can't see a reason to be around. A lot off them have experienced bullying - physical and mental forms of it. It has ruined their self esteem and confidence and they live in complete fear. They are too scared to speak out especially when it comes to cyber bullying as they think that they will just get told to block those people or don't go onto various sites, but that doesn't always work as the bullies will find a way around that and target their friends too. Or they get pressured to go on the sites as the fear the consequences if they don't. The internet is a great thing but it is also a very dangerous place

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This may be controversial. But, I sometimes think that teens view suicide as a legitimate solution these days. In other words I dont think ALL of them have a deep rooted psychological problem and that its more of a 'fuck it' thought.

When I was a teenager, I never heard of any of my peers hanging themselves. 2 blokes died in my school. One drowned and another had cancer.
In Finglas, alone in the last 10 - 15 years there has literally been 10's of teen suicides. My own next door neighbour hung himself. 

Now, when I was a teenager I (like most teens) had my self esteem destroyed at one time. A really really low point in my life. However, suicide never once entered my mind. Not for a second. I dont think I was particularly stronger than any other teen (then or now). Something has shifted in the mindset of teens that they now view suicide as an option.

Is it the breakdown of the family structure? Well, in my experience most have come from good loving homes. Is it the move away from religion? there may be something in that (in Ireland at least)
Is it that Bullying has reached epidemic proportion through sites like Ask.fm? perhaps. 
When I was getting slagged or had my self esteem knocked there was only a handful of people that knew, and that was embarrassing enough. How would I have dealt with the whole school or youth club knowing I had been dumped for another guy or had lost a fight to a 'weaker' kid or whatever??

Didnt someone once say 'Talk to each other'?
I think that's good advice.



On another note. You not in Dublin Zhivvy?

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