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Mom Died Today


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When My grandfather passed away, I sat in a church pew and realized simply by looking around at all my relatives that he hadn't really gone away, he was in all of us. I saw it in their faces, different features, hair color, nose etc. but also in mannerisms. I remember my Mom telling me how much certain members looked like grandpa but had never really taken time to notice until then. But even more so I began to notice little things people would do would remind me of him. It suddenly seemed so obvious. However when my dad passed I looked hard for those signs and was a bit discouraged because  they weren't immediately apparent to me. It only contributed to my feeling lost. I think I spent so much of my life trying to be different, trying to be me, that I was blind to how much of me was him. But As I got together at family gatherings, I would immediately get the Grill going. My dad taught me to BBQ when I was old enough to reach the grill and I've been doing it ever since. but then I had overheard others talking about how much I look like my dad  especially with my mannerisms at the grill. that was one of the first beams of light that let me have hope again. 

there are times I really feel down still. I bought a new Camaro last year. It's the first time I've bought a car that I didn't take my dad for a ride in immediately after.  Even when I was in high school and I bought a motorcycle my dad would always take it out for  a spin. I think that still is the toughest thing for me. Wanting to share something with my dad and not being able to. But I have to remind myself that he is still with me in everything he taught me.

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After being diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer of unknown origin 8 months ago and fighting to live each day as it starved her, Mom went to heaven at 604pm Hawaii time today. My heart is so shattered, I am in a terrible dream. I don't know what's going to happen. My joy is gone.


Thank you anyone who prayed for her. Please pray for my sister and I that we know the right thing to do.


I hope and pray that God is in Heaven and that the good news Jesus spoke of is real because my faith has been tested.


Sleep Mom and thank you for loving us in the good times and the bad. You did not deserve this.

I am so sorry to hear this...keeping you in  my prayers. Please, do not let lose your faith. Let it grow, let it shine. I know you are destroyed. I am leaving, the sun just rose here on the beach on the East Coast in Florida, I am getting ready to pull out to drive across the State to Tampa (I only go over to Tampa for U2 shows LOL) this time it is to take my son to Moffitt Cancer Center. His cancer spread like wildfire down his spinal column and paralyzed him. He had to undergo surgery, they had to remove the vertibras (sp) and put in 6 rods, all kinds of stuff and is undergoing INTENSE 22 HOURS A DAY CHEMO and he is trying to learn to walk again. Bottom line: Went from one of the top aerial surfers in the WORLD to never being able to surf again and is just fighting for his life at this point. He thought he would be well in a few months and back surfing, WELL THE DOCTORS WERE WRONG. I have learned to put it in the Lords hands, should the Lord take him home, I only borrowed him and cared for him a short time  from the Lord..I think that is how Mothers look at life...Please, as a mother, do not lose your faith. I am sure she would never want that for you!!!! I will be praying for you and your family, even in our dark hours here, know that you are LOVED and hold on. Once again, I am so sorry, I wish I could wrap my arms around you and reassure it will be OK, but I am sure there is more to your journey and you will face many ups and downs. Please let your faith grow..Cancer is not fair, it doesn't discriminate, and as my son says Cancer Sucks. Hugs and love from all of us and know you are never alone...It's OK to scream, yell, and cry, Just know the Lord is listening...

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Sigma, I am so sorry to see that your mom has passed away.  My deepest sympathies to you and your sister.


It's all been said already, but I know the pain you are feeling.  My dad passed away 2 years ago, this August and time has barely healed the wound.  I still cry, sometimes just out of the blue.  I know that hurt.  The thing that gets me through and I hope that soon it will get you through too, is that there is no more pain and suffering.  Have faith that she is no longer suffering and has a new body.  Take care and know that you can come here to cry, scream or remember.  There will be someone listening.

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My heart is just breaking for you....I am so very sorry. Knowing all I know about cancer now, it robs us from the ones we love. I can totally relate to asking the Lord to give it to you instead, I did the very same thing with my son...I think its very healthy to be crying and feeling the way you are..THAT IS REAL LOVE FOR YOUR MOTHER..I wish I could just wrap my arms around you and make it all go away and bring her back to you...just think of it this way if you can..You will see her soon enough, live your life the best you can, make her very proud, find the joy in the things she did, the grace she showed as a Mother and a woman. You will see her in a Little While just not Yet. Let those tears flow, they create a river to heaven... Hugs and Love--wahine

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