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a sort of homecoming

The Monica

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I'm new to the forum, but have been a subscriber since I was 18, and a u2 fan since I was 12.  U2's lyrics and music have helped me stay alive and optimistic at various points in my life.  I got my dad (and many others) into their music.  It's a given in any conversation or gathering that U2 is a safe, happy topic, sure to incite passion in dear old Monica (me).  In recent years I've actually tried to disconnect from the band.  I felt like a chump.  Why?  Their music hadn't changed, only gotten better.  Their political and charitable activity hadn't changed, only more precise.  So why was I feeling so disconnected?  I've always been the type of kid and person who embraces the middle child syndrome of imperfection and general disdain for social normality- and I never cared that U2 were so popular.  I knew it was against my rebel beliefs to love such an easily lovable thing.  It's like saying you're original for shopping at Nordstom.  But I never cared, because I knew there was something special between U2 and me... (not meant to sound creepy)...

Then, in the last year or two, my life seemed to be growing up and out, my heart and mind didn't feel up to the task.  I guess I lost a hold on my emotions.  I kind of felt like I was managing a restaurant but had no control of the hours, menu or capacity.  I was just working to maintain the social normality I once believed were an illusion.  So now, as this new year rolls out, I am using the new U2 tour (!!!!!!!!!!!!!) as a means of reflection on why I put up such a mental fuss about loving my first love.  I guess I am the one who changed, and I still am changing... I guess I just need to trust the person I have been up till this point and know that U2 and me are a good match, I'm not an idiot.

Well, to whoever reads this, peace!

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