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U2 and Mother's Day


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2 hours ago, DeirdreBell said:

Such beautiful thoughts from everyone. (And here I am just posting some presents. How shallow!) I can imagine how hard it is to be without your mom on Mother’s Day. But as a mom I can tell you that the whole job, if you’ve done it well, is to nurture and shape and test your children so that they can function in the world without you. And that’s both beautiful and sad. I guess it’s better to focus on the beautiful part.  You carry a part of your mother with you always. As the lyric goes “I’ve got your light inside of me...”

 

 

 

 

Hi Deirdre....

Yes!!! It is true.....as beautiful and sad it is to be a mother.....our ultimate goal with our children is to protect, develop/foster potential and instill autonomy.

Very difficult and self-less is to be a effective mother....for children are on loan from God....not really ours. Separate beings.....separate lives.....that have their own unique journeys/purpose.

We all carry apart of our mothers' inside us.... our mothers' strengths and weaknesses reflect inside us all. It's our job as individuals to take these experiences.....adopt the good ones....and not to perpetuate the bad.

Edited by unforgettableu2
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10 hours ago, unforgettableu2 said:

Dmway...

Thanks for your very personal mother's day story, as I am naughtily eating the gummy worms(like pop-corn), that my 8 year old son gave me for mothers day.

Your story is optimistic....and yet rings of hollow sadness and yearnings.

You will always have those U2 memories with your mother that will carry you through those  days...when you miss her the most. 

My mother has b-cell leukemia, and is in remission....so I empathize with you, at least with mysterious aspects of the disease. No rhyme or reason whom it selects....my mother is a health nut....so it was not expected.

DMway... while reading your story...you have enlightened me....and brought new appreciation to my relationship with my mother. First off, she is still here....so I should value her even more, knowing you lack and mourn that opportunity within your own life.

My mother and I have had our differences on what a 'ideal' mother/daughter relationship should resemble....for I have always sought more of her interest/ involvement in my life. One thing my mother always supported was developing my sense of self/individuality/interests. I've loved U2 since i was twelve years old....in the early eighties.

I played u2 over and over....from boy/october/war/unforgettable fire....very loud....and my mother never said anything. She supported my love for U2....in her silent and hands-off way. I  thank her for allowing me to plaster u2 posters that covered every inch of my bedroom walls and even the ceiling.  occasionally, she's walk past my bedroom,  peak her head in...and say...."I like that song''. My mother...would never expel a judgement....with each new U2 picture that invaded my personal space. She allowed and respected my personal space....my room was a haven....to explore what I needed and wanted out of life. U2 served as a vessel for all those yearnings....or questions I had for myself and of others.

U2 filled the void ..... and the music became a surrogate parent to counsel my adolescent pain....

I thank my mother for allowing me to be me....even when she wasn't there for me, emotionally available.....or asked me questions about my life. Indirectly, she answered those questions, by allowing me to be "ME"...and to discover those questions through my own unassisted path/journey.

Indirectly, my mother has become a U2 fan.....maybe not formally knowing the names of their songs....but, appreciates the 4 people who created those beautiful sounds that shaped her daughter's life so intensely.

Thank you very much for your kind words and for sharing your own story, vis a vis, your relationship with your mother and U2. I was confident that people here had these kinds of stories, and I thought it might be insightful to have a thread to share them (if people felt OK to post them; I'm glad you did).

My mom is still around me, even though her physical presence is gone. The only thing I really lack is hearing her responses with my ears when we have our continuing conversations - I hear the responses in my head, but nothing is like the actual voice.

Oh, your words hit me in a couple of ways: one way was that your mother and my father definitely went to the same school of parenting; the other was that I was very familiar with your story from my former profession. Before I get into that, let me say how happy that your mother is in remission. (My mother's type was acute myeloid, by the way.) Being in remission is the best news to have after you get a diagnosis; having that remission last long enough to be free from the illness is the ultimate goal. May your combined strength and love bring about that whole healing.

Without going on too long (mostly because I couldn't describe it any better than you did), sometimes parents think they are doing the right thing by maintaining "a healthy distance" (so called) in the hope of bringing about accelerated maturity and self-actualization. Well, that process is like anything else: too much of it isn't necessarily a good thing. In my Dad's case, I think sometimes he just doesn't feel comfortable being emotionally supportive - frankly, I think this is a problem in many - but thankfully not all - dads (i.e., it's not a "guy thing" to be that way). In the end, I know that he loves me, but isn't overly fond of making that obvious. It sounds like your mother is the same.

I have also seen what you have described in my former profession as a teacher (I'm semi-retired now and concentrating on writing - an opportunity which is in many ways yet another gift from my mother). The number of times I had students talk to me after school expressing regret during conversations over the emotional/physical distance from one (and sometimes, tragically, both) of their parents I've lost count of. They won't have been neglected (i.e., all basic needs accounted for in terms of dress, food, possessions, etc. - sometimes lavishly), but what they wanted and craved most was just basic time and attention. Most of the time, I could only be a friendly ear to vent to. Having that, of course, helps from their point of view, but it wasn't information I could do much with. (What parent would ever want to hear that they weren't spending enough time with their children from someone outside the family? "Why is he/she talking with you about that anyway?" might well be said. Well, I didn't expect them to; they just volunteered it - it's at the front of their minds.) Some of the complaints, of course, were normal teen angst; however, most were legitimate regrets. I helped the best I could.

Like you, I discovered that music can be a wonderful support - music like U2's doubly so. I'm glad that you had it. We discovered U2 at nearly the same age too - I was 13 when "Boy" came out. I can literally map out significant points of my life by their album releases and tours - I know you can do the same. (Mr. Morrison's words are going through my head, "Well the music is your special friend / Dance on fire as it intends / Music is your only friend / until the end..." from "When The Music's Over".)

I'm sure your gummy words tasted especially good yesterday. ?

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2 hours ago, DeirdreBell said:

Such beautiful thoughts from everyone. (And here I am just posting some presents. How shallow!) I can imagine how hard it is to be without your mom on Mother’s Day. But as a mom I can tell you that the whole job, if you’ve done it well, is to nurture and shape and test your children so that they can function in the world without you. And that’s both beautiful and sad. I guess it’s better to focus on the beautiful part.  You carry a part of your mother with you always. As the lyric goes “I’ve got your light inside of me...”

No! Don't you dare think that about posting your presents! That was the kind of thing I was hoping would happen! You are a mother and you got U2 presents from knowledgeable family members - perfect! ?

Wonderful thoughts about parenting too - I agree. (Now, I have "Mother Stands For Comfort" by Kate Bush going through my head.) Thank you for your posts - what has appeared here is exactly what I was hoping would appear here. I hope we get more.

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I'm still with fuzzy vision and want to know what the presents are??????   Why should you feel anything negative about telling us of your Mother's Day?  I used to dangle, from a tree, over a barbed wired fence when my mom was bugging me.  "Bob.  Tell him to stop that."   I was a shit.  I really was.  I was a good one but a shit nonetheless.  She earned everything she's ever gotten from me.  My point is....I'm sure you have too and I want to know what those presents are.  I know the vinyls but can't see what the other stuff is.  Please tell me.

Edited by Manohlive
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14 hours ago, unforgettableu2 said:

My mother has b-cell leukemia, and is in remission

 

I've had loved ones with Leukemia.  I"m sorry you mom your family have had to deal with it. Prayers to the order of our universe that the remission remains and is permanent shall be said by this Zootopian.  They've come so far in treating it.  I'm not pushing my faith...I will be praying to St. Therese of Lesieux to shower you and your mom with roses from heaven. 

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Thank you for the mother stories.  I'm sorry for your loss, DMway.  

I have some Mother stories to share.

1. My mom was also very indulgent of my U2 obsession that started at age 12.  Posters all over my walls, boom box blasting Joshua Tree and Rattle and Hum and Live Under a Blood Red Sky. She gave me October on cassette for Easter during the year I discovered them and was trying to build up my back catalogue.  

2. When Rattle and Hum came out, it opened in Boston (almost 2 hours away from us) on my 14th birthday. My mom took me down to see it, even getting there 4 hours early because I was sure there would be lines around the block, LOL! (There were not.)  Then she totally embarrassed me for months afterward by telling anyone who would listen, "I know why my daughter loves U2. They are so sexy!"  

3. On the Elevation tour I only went to one Boston show, and afterward my mom decided she'd like to see them too, since "You never know when it will be their last tour" so we looked up the tour schedule and got two tickets for the last US stop, Miami, and flew down for just two nights to go see them together.  She even know which hotel they would most likely be staying at, and she was right, and we went there and had brunch and got to see all their roadies having brunch too, but not the boys.  She hung out on the beach outside their hotel all day with me and the other U2 geeks.

4. As a mother myself, I am grateful to my kids that they know the order of importance of people in my life:  my kids & spouse, then U2. Then all others. I'm kind of joking. Though they love to torture me with questions like "Mom, if you had to choose between dinner with U2 and seeing my ballet recital and it was the only performance, which one would you choose?"   This hand-sewn t-shirt was my surprise mother's day gift yesterday from my 10-year-old.  

 

 

IMG_5765.JPG

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32 minutes ago, JCF said:


Thank you for the mother stories.  I'm sorry for your loss, DMway.  

I have some Mother stories to share.

1. My mom was also very indulgent of my U2 obsession that started at age 12.  Posters all over my walls, boom box blasting Joshua Tree and Rattle and Hum and Live Under a Blood Red Sky. She gave me October on cassette for Easter during the year I discovered them and was trying to build up my back catalogue.  

2. When Rattle and Hum came out, it opened in Boston (almost 2 hours away from us) on my 14th birthday. My mom took me down to see it, even getting there 4 hours early because I was sure there would be lines around the block, LOL! (There were not.)  Then she totally embarrassed me for months afterward by telling anyone who would listen, "I know why my daughter loves U2. They are so sexy!"  

3. On the Elevation tour I only went to one Boston show, and afterward my mom decided she'd like to see them too, since "You never know when it will be their last tour" so we looked up the tour schedule and got two tickets for the last US stop, Miami, and flew down for just two nights to go see them together.  She even know which hotel they would most likely be staying at, and she was right, and we went there and had brunch and got to see all their roadies having brunch too, but not the boys.  She hung out on the beach outside their hotel all day with me and the other U2 geeks.

4. As a mother myself, I am grateful to my kids that they know the order of importance of people in my life:  my kids & spouse, then U2. Then all others. I'm kind of joking. Though they love to torture me with questions like "Mom, if you had to choose between dinner with U2 and seeing my ballet recital and it was the only performance, which one would you choose?"   This hand-sewn t-shirt was my surprise mother's day gift yesterday from my 10-year-old.  

 

 

IMG_5765.JPG

Those are great stories! Thank you for sharing them. I love the t-shirt too - would he/she be willing to make another? ;)

It's fun seeing U2 with Mom, isn't it? :D

Thanks for your kind words too - I am at peace with her passing. The funny thing is that I could have posted this story last year, but I guess I didn't start regularly posting here until June of last year (despite being on the site from its inception). I'm glad that others have had stories to share too - I was starting to be concerned that no one would want to contribute, but, as U2 fans very often do, they came through in the end. B)

 

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The closest I've come to seeing U2 with my mom was a Neil Diamond impersonator.  "But he's really good."   That's so cool, JCF. 

dmway)-I did not make it to 360 last night.  It was a really sweet night to be by Lake Michigan. I went outside and sat listening to music.  I eventually listened to SOE, for the first time, with headphones.  Yow.  Adam's bass is even more incredible.  The whole thing sounds great in headphones.  I'd listened to songs off  of it with headphones.  I am always distracted walking my dog. I get embarrassed when I am picking up his duty , someone walks by and catches me examining it to make sure nothing is wrong. He is 17 years old.  They smile and say "He's cute." and nothing about me. I'm jealous but he's Irish...I'm the mutt sniffing poop.  

Edited by Manohlive
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14 minutes ago, Manohlive said:

The closest I've come to seeing U2 with my mom was a Neil Diamond impersonator.  "But he's really good."   That's so cool, JCF. 

dmway)-I did not make it to 360 last night.  It was a really sweet night to be by Lake Michigan. I went outside and sat listening to music.  I eventually listened to SOE, for the first time, with headphones.  Yow.  Adam's bass is even more incredible.  The whole things sounds great in headphones.  I'd listened to songs off it but I'm distracted walking my dog. I get embarrassed when I am picking up his duty , someone walks by and catches me examining it to make sure nothing is wrong as he is 17 years old.  Then they smile and say "He's cute." and nothing about me so I'm jealous but he's Irish and I'm the mutt who is sniffing poop.  

The nice thing about DVDs is that they always wait until they fit into YOUR schedule. ? I almost didn't watch the Red Rocks show, but I was awake enough for late-night watching, so I did. They really were so good so early - no wonder they made it! ?

Yes! SOE on headphones is a great experience - I listen to it often that way. It would have been my Mom's Mother's Day gift this year, although I liked it so much right away that she may have gotten it for Easter - oh, who am I kidding? She would have gotten it for Christmas last year! ?

I think I got her every U2 album from JT onward as some kind of holiday gift (e.g., for birthday, Christmas, random Tuesday, etc.). She really was a fan of the band. I'm convinced she got them to play "Acrobat" finally too - she knew I loved and still love that song. ?

 

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