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xtraspicy62

Battle of the Sexes.....Please add on using any media.....

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 have to admit women are works of art....

 

1. How they manage to drive a car with their bodies so close to the steering wheel really is something.

It is closer to the windscreen so easier to see through it - although I have to move the seat back in mine - boobs on steering wheel is a hinderance, and am rather leggy too!

2. How they bleed every month and never run out of blood is definitely one of life's great mysteries/miracles.

May be a mystery and miracle to men, just a pain and annoyance to women!

3. How they can talk to their friend on the phone, make dinner and tend to the kids all at the same time is mind boggling.

Multi-tasking is a skills which women are just born with...we need to have it, as that is what makes us all seem so organised. And getting it all done at once leaves us with more time in the evening to come on here and drink wine! 

4. How they can shop til they drop and never actually drop is amazing.

That I cannot understand, not really the shopping type - every once in a while is ok but hours on end no!!!!!

5. How they can hold a grudge for life because of a dispute over a man is laughable.

The man is the excuse, the woman probably had other issues with her friend and used the man as an excuse.

6. Why they want to wear shoes that make them walk like deformed monkeys is something unique to this species.

That is easy - shoes are pretty!!!

7. Why they allow their emotions get the upper hand on their logic is one of life's great mysteries.

3 little letters: PMT!! - We can't help it.

8. They have an odd fascination with toilets.  Before they go out, they spend hours in them and then when they are out, they queue up to get back in them.

That is because for some unknown reason it takes some women 10 minutes just to pee and there are never enough toilets 

9. When they get upset, they can articulate the most convincing argument in their favor; yet they are always lost for words when they have to explain spending the food money on clothes.

Well less money on food means that the woman loses weight and therefore needs to spend the money on smaller clothes.

10. They always give out about men not asking for directions but they don't seem too bothered asking themselves when lost in a large mall.  I wonder why....?

Because the women with the shopping gene have no reason to ask, wandering around involves more shops to look at!

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  1. Zhivvy wrote:


 have to admit women are works of art....

 

1. How they manage to drive a car with their bodies so close to the steering wheel really is something.

It is closer to the windscreen so easier to see through it - although I have to move the seat back in mine - boobs on steering wheel is a hinderance, and am rather leggy too!

2. How they bleed every month and never run out of blood is definitely one of life's great mysteries/miracles.

May be a mystery and miracle to men, just a pain and annoyance to women!

3. How they can talk to their friend on the phone, make dinner and tend to the kids all at the same time is mind boggling.

Multi-tasking is a skills which women are just born with...we need to have it, as that is what makes us all seem so organised. And getting it all done at once leaves us with more time in the evening to come on here and drink wine! 

4. How they can shop til they drop and never actually drop is amazing.

That I cannot understand, not really the shopping type - every once in a while is ok but hours on end no!!!!!

5. How they can hold a grudge for life because of a dispute over a man is laughable.

The man is the excuse, the woman probably had other issues with her friend and used the man as an excuse.

6. Why they want to wear shoes that make them walk like deformed monkeys is something unique to this species.

That is easy - shoes are pretty!!!

7. Why they allow their emotions get the upper hand on their logic is one of life's great mysteries.

3 little letters: PMT!! - We can't help it.

8. They have an odd fascination with toilets.  Before they go out, they spend hours in them and then when they are out, they queue up to get back in them.

That is because for some unknown reason it takes some women 10 minutes just to pee and there are never enough toilets
 

9. When they get upset, they can articulate the most convincing argument in their favor; yet they are always lost for words when they have to explain spending the food money on clothes.

Well less money on food means that the woman loses weight and therefore needs to spend the money on smaller clothes.

10. They always give out about men not asking for directions but they don't seem too bothered asking themselves when lost in a large mall.  I wonder why....?

Because the women with the shopping gene have no reason to ask, wandering around involves more shops to look at!

I knew I could rely on you zhiv! haha

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[quote name='mummy wrote:


[*]
Zhivvy'] have to admit women are works of art....

 

1. How they manage to drive a car with their bodies so close to the steering wheel really is something.

It is closer to the windscreen so easier to see through it - although I have to move the seat back in mine - boobs on steering wheel is a hinderance, and am rather leggy too!

2. How they bleed every month and never run out of blood is definitely one of life's great mysteries/miracles.

May be a mystery and miracle to men, just a pain and annoyance to women!

3. How they can talk to their friend on the phone, make dinner and tend to the kids all at the same time is mind boggling.

Multi-tasking is a skills which women are just born with...we need to have it, as that is what makes us all seem so organised. And getting it all done at once leaves us with more time in the evening to come on here and drink wine! 

4. How they can shop til they drop and never actually drop is amazing.

That I cannot understand, not really the shopping type - every once in a while is ok but hours on end no!!!!!

5. How they can hold a grudge for life because of a dispute over a man is laughable.

The man is the excuse, the woman probably had other issues with her friend and used the man as an excuse.

6. Why they want to wear shoes that make them walk like deformed monkeys is something unique to this species.

That is easy - shoes are pretty!!!

7. Why they allow their emotions get the upper hand on their logic is one of life's great mysteries.

3 little letters: PMT!! - We can't help it.

8. They have an odd fascination with toilets.  Before they go out, they spend hours in them and then when they are out, they queue up to get back in them.

That is because for some unknown reason it takes some women 10 minutes just to pee and there are never enough toilets
 

9. When they get upset, they can articulate the most convincing argument in their favor; yet they are always lost for words when they have to explain spending the food money on clothes.

Well less money on food means that the woman loses weight and therefore needs to spend the money on smaller clothes.

10. They always give out about men not asking for directions but they don't seem too bothered asking themselves when lost in a large mall.  I wonder why....?

Because the women with the shopping gene have no reason to ask, wandering around involves more shops to look at!

I knew I could rely on you zhiv! haha

Always like to give the honest and truthful answers! tongue.gif

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[quote name='Zhivvy wrote:


mummy']I knew I could rely on you zhiv! haha

Always like to give the honest and truthful answers! tongue.gif

 

Is there a difference between honest and truthful?tongue.gif

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[quote name='mummy wrote:


Zhivvy wrote:

mummy']I knew I could rely on you zhiv! haha

Always like to give the honest and truthful answers!
tongue.gif

 

Is there a difference between honest and truthful?tongue.gif

 

Nope!!! they just sound nice together and that you now really know I tried my best to answer the questions!!!

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[quote name='Zhivvy wrote:


mummy wrote:

Zhivvy wrote:

mummy']I knew I could rely on you zhiv! haha

Always like to give the honest and truthful answers!
tongue.gif

 

Is there a difference between honest and truthful?
tongue.gif

 

Nope!!! they just sound nice together and that you now really know I tried my best to answer the questions!!!

They do sound good together. I was just being a smartarse.  I get that way late at night, and sometimes during the day.  It gets me in trouble... a lot! ;-)

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[quote name='mummy wrote:


Zhivvy wrote:

mummy wrote:

Zhivvy wrote:

mummy']I knew I could rely on you zhiv! haha

Always like to give the honest and truthful answers!
tongue.gif

 

Is there a difference between honest and truthful?
tongue.gif

 

Nope!!! they just sound nice together and that you now really know I tried my best to answer the questions!!!

They do sound good together. I was just being a smartarse.  I get that way late at night, and sometimes during the day.  It gets me in trouble... a lot! ;-)

 

 

Detention then!!! Lol!!!

Well I'm honestly and truthfully off to bed - too late for little old me!!! Have to drag my sorry ass out of bed for work at some godforsaken hour

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Some mornings I wake up grumpy .... other mornings I just let him sleep
OMG! I can totally relate to this one LOL! soooo funny, and TRUE!!!

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Estate Planning
 
 When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So, one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
 
 "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
 
 Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and three days later, she became his stepmother.
 
 Women are so much better at estate planning than men.

 

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Estate Planning

 

 When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So, one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

 

 "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

 

 Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and three days later, she became his stepmother.

 

 Women are so much better at estate planning than men.

 

roll.gifroll.gif

roll.gifroll.gif

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It was about here he realised he would never forget an anniversary again....

 

throw2.jpg

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balls.jpg
This happened to a friend of mine.  He's now an excellent cabaret singer! tongue.gif

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[quote name='mummy wrote:


xtraspicy62']
balls.jpg

This happened to a friend of mine.  He's now an excellent cabaret singer! tongue.gif

 

OMG! thats so funny mummy!!! ROFLMFAO!

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[quote name='xtraspicy62 wrote:


mummy wrote:

xtraspicy62']
balls.jpg

This happened to a friend of mine.  He's now an excellent cabaret singer!
tongue.gif

 

OMG! thats so funny mummy!!! ROFLMFAO!

He sings like a bird!  In fact he looks like a bird:  he dresses like a penguin!tongue.gif

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[quote name=mummy wrote:


xtraspicy62 wrote:
mummy wrote:
xtraspicy62]laugh.gif"> You

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I love this thread sooooo funny....and much better than watching the (she whispers cautiously the unmentionable) election results

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Ok... that's it... last time the wife tells me to grow up.... I'm outta here

 

trike.jpg

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One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, 'My dear child, why are you crying?' The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.
'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked . The seamstress replied, 'No.'
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.
'Is this your thimble?' t he Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, 'No.'
The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble .
'Is this your thimble ?' the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, 'Yes.' The Lord was pleased w ith the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.
Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, 'Why are you crying?' 'Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!'
The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney 'Is this your husband?' the Lord asked.
'Yes,' cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. 'You lied! That is an untruth!' The seamstress replied, 'Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.
Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.
And so the Lord let her keep him.
The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it.

 

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Ok... that's it... last time the wife tells me to grow up.... I'm outta here

 

trike.jpg

roll.gifdon know how you find those, spicy!

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[quote name=Zhivvy]if they can send one man to the moon, why can't they send them all there?

 

my love askes me to tell you he's fine with that suggestion and he will enjoy all the U2 concerts on the moon....since they're 4 men too?!eyes.gif

and no.....you cant make any exception there.....you did say 'them all'...... (what were you thinking, zhiv?? not a smart move this one!)

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