Behind that smiling face in my profile picture, I was also a mess. I turned 19 that year and had just finished my first year of college.
My high school sweetheart (who I was engaged to) broke up with me after 4 years together because he got another girl pregnant. I was having panic attacks every day and night, not sleeping, and felt so very lost. The one thing that could soothe my mind: -- listening to The Joshua Tree on my Walkman.
I many ways, I am still the same person. In other ways I am very different. I wanted to be an artist (as in drawing and painting). I became a Medical Technologist (clinical laboratory scientist) and now I'm a technical writer for software companies. I wanted to be a mother but never had any children. I thought I would stay in my small town in the midwest forever, but I left. I lived in Boston for 14 years and now I've been in Dallas for 5 years.
At 19, I felt so much pressure to prove myself -- to figure out a plan for the future. I wish I could tell the girl in the picture to slow down and stop trying to be so perfect.
...and listening to The Joshua Tree (on my iPhone) still soothes my mind.