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The Troubles-Powerful song about domestic abuse


Rhi_K
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So I wanted to share this because this song has been an emotional rollercoaster for me, I have spent the past few weeks helping a dear friend of mine get out of an abusive relationship and before hope came there were times I couldn't even to listen to it, thankfully the end is in sight and now I listen to it and feel such an overwhelming pride in what she has accomplished. So I wanted to share for any people who are going through (or know someone who is) domestic abuse in the hopes that it might help to send a message of strength, to help raise awareness and perhaps to help them realise that there are those of us out there who know where you are and that there is a way out.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE reach out, my friends abuser has been astonished by the help my friend has recieved from me and people around me, dismayed that all his hard work to isolate her has come to nothing, you are not alone.

 

BY JOEPIT · SEPTEMBER 24, 2014

 

cupofjoe-300x225.pngThe end of U2?  WTF, they just gave us a free CD a few weeks ago, what the hell are you talking about?  Now, that I have your attention, I’m not talking about that ending.  I’m talking about “The Troubles”, U2’s last song on Songs of Innocence.  Is there any group that cares more about the placement of a song on the CD than U2? NO, there is not.  I swear they were done with SOI 3 years ago and spent the last two years haggling over song positions.

This past Sunday, Bono revealed that after grief comes rage, hence why “Volcano” follows “Iris”.  Makes sense.  It doesn’t explain the placement of “Your Blue Room” anywhere on any CD, but I digress.  Has there ever been a U2 CD debate without a discussion about U2’s song selection to close out a CD or show?  Again, the answer is no, which brings me to “The Troubles”.

I don’t Lykke this song, I LOVE this song. (See what I did there). Just when I think that my soul has been beaten into oblivion by the previous ten songs on SOI, here comes “The Troubles” with a flying drop kick to finish it off before the referee can throw in the towel.  The song, according to Bono is about domestic abuse and should be mandatory listening at every couples therapy session and at each NFL (National Football  League) training camp each year.   It’s that powerful and that important.

Lyrically, it is unbelievably haunting.  “Somebody stepped inside your soul, little by little they robbed and stole, Till someone else was in control.”  Who writes lyrics like this…U2 does, that’s who!  However in typical U2 fashion, the group that stands up for faith, hope and love acknowledge that getting out of any abusive relationship is not an easy thing,

“God knows it’s not easy,
Taking on the shape of someone else’s pain,
God now you can see me I’m naked and I’m not afraid
My body’s sacred and I’m not ashamed”

But the strongest line in the song for me is “I have a will to survive!”  The power of that one line is overwhelming. Telling that Mofo in your life that you will not and cannot be broken is just an incredibly powerful statement.  Not since “Dirty Day” has U2 delved into the dysfunctional family unit and the pain it causes to all involved.  Tough to walk out into the street and sing your heart out when you have a black eye and your heart has been broken over and over again.  Domestic abuse knows no financial, gender, national, religious or geographic boundaries…but it can be stopped and must be.

Nobody knows how to end a CD or a show like U2, whether it be “Love is Blindness”, “Moment of Surrender”, “40” or now “The Troubles”.  It always ends well and so can your own personal ending.  If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, click the link below and take the first step towards telling your abuser that they are not your troubles anymore.

thehotline.org

I hope it was okay for me to copy it, Admins please correct me if not, I made sure to leave the credit in there.

Edited by Rhi_K
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Excellent post, Rhi_K. I went through it myself. It's funny (not ha ha funny) that you posted this today - just yesterday I emailed someone who was there for me at that time - someone I haven't seen in some years or spoken to in a very long time (she lives far away) - I was telling her I'll never forget that she was there for me then.

 

I do NOT know how I would've gotten through it - and then gotten past it - w/out the help of friends & family!

 

And it DOES cross ALL boundaries. NEVER think things like this: 'he seems like such a nice guy,' 'he's got this degree or that degree or this title or that title,' 'they live in such a beautiful neighborhood,' 'he comes from such an accomplished family,' etc, etc. IN FACT: someone w/ a serious anger problem who thinks 'keeping up w/ the Joneses' & public image are of life & death importance can be even MORE likely to be an abuser!

 

Great that you posted a helpful link, too. And THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE FOR YOUR FRIEND!! GREAT that U2 did a song on the subject!

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The link you posted is good 'nuts & bolts' help & here's some more:

 

- Something that helped me - Free, confidential, online threat assessment called 'the Mosaic Method': https://www.mosaicmethod.com/

It's by the awesome safety/security expert Gavin de Becker (love that guy). His organization provides security to high-level judges, celebrities, etc, too, btw. Of course the best cure is prevention: have u gotten into a relationship - or are trying to break 1 off - and u think there are red flags about the guy that are concerning u? Check it out.

 

- Also: don't think that it's only women w/ 'low self-esteem' who stay (although an abuser can take a person's perfectly fine self-esteem & REALLY do damage to it). I was NOT someone w/low-self-esteem, but stayed as long as I could for the sake of my stepkids. That assessment helped me know when to get out. Domestic abuse is not all at 1 level or all the exact same either. (For ex, if it had been a broken arm or gun to my head, etc, or if it was every day, week or month, I would've gotten out sooner.) There are different levels - but ANY physical violence to a spouse is abuse. So is physical threat/intimidation. & if it's 'just' 2 or 3 times a year, for ex, that's no more ok than if it was every day. No woman should EVER have to be afraid to be under the same roof w/her husband. (Btw, I know there are men who are abused, & I do not mean to diminish that, but it's such a small percentage of cases that I refer to the vast majority of cases. Gavin de Becker does the same in his writing & gives the same reason. He makes no bones about it.)

 

- If you're trying to help someone who lives w/an abuser, remember it's that person who knows the abuser - not u (unless you've lived w/that person yrself in that kind of relationship). I was married to someone who was like 2 people in 1. I knew when it was ok to be w/him & when it wasn't. (I'm not saying every woman's judgement on that would be good. I'm sure there are cases where an intervention is needed. I'm saying: do LISTEN to the person who's in the situation though.) To all women out there: if u know a woman or she's your friend & she asks if she can crash at your place for a night or 2 - because her husband 'has an anger problem' or something like that - if at all humanly possible, LET HER.

Edited by Alma1
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Like the way they've taken a subject matter, but coupled it with (and I know it hasn't been mentioned yet) the term that was commonly used during the bands younger years, of civil unrest in Northern Ireland and Ireland generally during the turn of the 70's through to early 90's.

I cant help, being from the same part of the world as the band roughly speaking, thinking that whilst the song is about something completely different, the song title has been interestingly coined from a very different aspect of their youth. I could be wrong.

'The Troubles' in Northern Ireland was something that the band had very strong opinions about also, most notably captured on 'Rattle and Hum' - you can't help but to make the connection.

The subject matter I guess is something different, but it all ties into and back to the reflective element to the album.

U2, one of very few bands that played throughout all parts of Ireland north and south in the countrys darkest days (on various levels) and in their formative years.

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"I cant help, being from the same part of the world as the band roughly speaking, thinking that whilst the song is about something completely different, the song title has been interestingly coined from a very different aspect of their youth. I could be wrong."

 

I don't think u could possibly be wrong at all, yardie. And the title fits. Just as the troubles in Ireland were sad, tough, & heartwrenching to go through & navigate & try to find your way through, that same description applies to such marriages or relationships that the song is about. Northern Ireland & the rest of Ireland were in a sense like a Family torn apart, too. (I would't have married the person I married if I didn't love him when we married - so there's that whole element, too. It's not like a stranger you're dealing with - it's at home.)

 

"U2, one of very few bands that played throughout all parts of Ireland north and south in the countrys darkest days (on various levels) and in their formative years." Totally interesting.

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A little positive note (although this & 10 cents won't get u a cup of coffee! W/ all due respect to Cup of Joe!):

 

I just noticed that my post # 2233 posted at 5:55 & your next post, yardie, will be #888 for you. :) A lovely little smile-maker to lift our hearts at this moment! Always welcome.

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That's some great advice Alma, I can't take credit for the link though, it was in the article, for anyone in the UK I found these really useful, they have survival guides, help finding housing and other practical advice

http://www.womensaid.org.uk/                  http://england.shelter.org.uk/?_ga=1.37922922.874141622.1410998873

 

Thanks Alma, all the way through this my main goal has been to make sure she knows she has people around her, that despite what he tells her she has love, support and help, it has enabled her to make her own choices and empowered her to say enough is enough. 
There is one little piece of redemtion in awful situations such as you have been through, every little bit of harm they cause (whether it be physical, psychological or emotional) produces a stronger person, you are all my hero's I have been so awed by the sheer determination to survive, even at some of the worst times, every person suffering domestic abuse should take pride in that.

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Like the way they've taken a subject matter, but coupled it with (and I know it hasn't been mentioned yet) the term that was commonly used during the bands younger years, of civil unrest in Northern Ireland and Ireland generally during the turn of the 70's through to early 90's.

I cant help, being from the same part of the world as the band roughly speaking, thinking that whilst the song is about something completely different, the song title has been interestingly coined from a very different aspect of their youth. I could be wrong.

'The Troubles' in Northern Ireland was something that the band had very strong opinions about also, most notably captured on 'Rattle and Hum' - you can't help but to make the connection.

The subject matter I guess is something different, but it all ties into and back to the reflective element to the album.

U2, one of very few bands that played throughout all parts of Ireland north and south in the countrys darkest days (on various levels) and in their formative years.

You're absolutely right Yardie, I had noticed, ever the intelligent writer is our Bman :) it feels like a nice finish to the mentions of domestic violence and the violence within Ireland mentioned in Raised by Wolves and Cedarwood road, as well as the general meaning that can be taken from the song across all kinds of suffering.

Speaking of musical connections, a nice one for me in Cedarwood Road and it's dedication to Guggi, "And that cherry blossom tree, was a gateway to the sun, and friendship once it's won it's won" I think my friend considers the level of support I have given her unexpected and it has brought us so much closer together, she has been a shoulder to me many times over the years, perhaps she didn't know how much it meant to me, but we will always have this bond now and there is a cherry blossom tree outside her new SAFE house :) soundtrack to my life once again U2, thanks!

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MetallicA's song 'The Day That Never Comes' is about domestic abuse, it's on 2008's 'Death Magnetic'

sorry about the black bars, I copy & pasted from their site.

 

Born to push you around
Better just stay down
You pull away
He hits the flesh
You hit the ground

Mouth so full of lies
Tend to black your eyes
Just keep them closed
Keep praying
Just keep waiting

Waiting for the one
The day that never comes
When you stand up and feel the warmth
But the son shine never comes
No, the son shine never comes

Push you cross that line,
Just stay down this time
Hide in yourself
Crawl in yourself
You'll have your time

God I'll make them pay
Take it back one day
I'll end this day
I'll splatter color on this gray

Waiting for the one
The day that never comes
When you stand up and feel the warmth
But the son shine never comes

Love... is a four letter word,
And never spoken here
Love... is a four letter word,
Here in this prison

I suffer this no longer,
I'll put an end to this, I swear
This, I swear The son will shine
This, I swear,
This, I swear,
This, I swear!

Copyright © 2008 Creeping Death Music (ASCAP)
International Copyright Secured
All Rights Reserved

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