Jump to content

Big argument w/ best friend over U2 concert (advice needed)


ReillyThePainter
 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Subscriber

This is a chick thing.  We're old and we've been friends since 2nd grade.  We've been going to U2 concerts together since Joshua Tree and have seen them in LA, Phx and Vegas over the years.  She lives in LA now; I live in AZ.  We talk for hours every week.

 

We bought great fan seats for the second May show at The Forum in LA.

 

She picked the date, type of seat (non-GA) and concert location.  I would have preferred to see U2 in Phx and get GA tickets, but she has 3 school-aged kids and I wanted to make it easier on her. I'm single & childless so I am more flexible.   I paid for the fan club to get good seats & I bought the tickets.

 

Then she announced a few weeks ago that her youngest kid's school has an open house at 6pm. She forgot to check the school sched before picking a concert date.  Concert is at 7:30pm.  The school is less than 10 min away from The Forum, but with traffic and crowds, and the way open houses at schools can mean a lot of long visits and conversations, I'm worried we're going to be late, and I like to see opening acts.  But the bigger issue is that I was not asked if minded her hitting the open house before the show.  i think my feelings should be taken into account.  The truth is, I don't care if I'm not into the opening band.  But if it's a good band, then i think the OH at the school can be skipped.  Her husband will be going to the OH.  But I was told that she will go to the OH no matter what and I will have to figure out what I want to do.

 

I kinda feel like if someone is driving 16 hours back & forth to attend a concert with you, then they're the priority.  She told me I could drive to The Forum and meet her there.  I don't live in LA and would rather she drove.  Then she said that she thinks my problem is that I don't like seeing concerts in LA (totally true) and she thinks I should just sell my ticket.  She is going to U2 regardless of whether go with her or not.  She is not interested in switching dates or cities.  

 

I'm pretty hurt.  I'm into hours of driving, money for gas, fan club fee, and a hotel.  That's right...a hotel. She says I can't stay with her because her house is messy.  And if I fly, she's not sure she can pick me up or drop me off (she lives very close to LAX).

 

 Advice?

Edited by ReillyThePainter
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Community Moderator

Your friendship sounds very much like mine and my BFF, except she's the single, no kids and I'm the married with kids.  Is this her first open house ever? Because having a now 9th and 7th grader, she will have plenty of open houses to go to.  Personally, if you are doing the driving and whatnot and the money you both put into it, I think she should take that into consideration.  I know it's not easy not going to the open house, but if her husband is going, she could ask him to record it for her.  My husband has had to miss a lot b/c of traveling for work, including our daughter's first ballet performance.  I recorded it and she was so happy to share it with him over and over and over.  And there were no hard feelings for not being there.

 

Although, with all the other stuff she's saying too, it sounds like there might be something else going on that she's not sharing.  If there's one person that can come into my house, no matter what the state (and whose house isn't a mess with kids?), it's my best friend.

 

I'm sorry she's doing this to you.  I hope things get worked out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Subscriber

Hey, thanks for your reply.

 

I now have exactly one amazing ticket to the show in Phx that I bought from someone on craigslist for $75.  Me happy.  

 

Still haven't heard from my friend.  But I'll get a call soon begging for the ticket, and I'll probably sell both tickets, send her the money for hers and let her start over.  

 

Not sure we're going to stay friends after this.  I am floored that after being close friends with her since childhood, that I'm being treated like a ticket broker and not a friend. She won't let me stay with her.  She's not sure she can pick me up from the airport.  She won't change the dates.  She won't promise to get in/out of the open house as quickly as possible. She told me she hoped I had made lots of plans to see other friends in LA and do other things.   And then when I complained, she said I had a bad attitude and I should sell my ticket.  Honestly, she wasn't always this way and I think she might be going off the rails.  

 

Did not see any of this coming.  It's awful.  Anyway, thanks again for replying.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Subscriber

Did you get the money from her for her ticket already?

If not I'd almost be tempted to find someone else to go with since you did paid for fan club, got the tickets, etcetera. She really does sound like she just wanted an easy source at good tickets without having to do it herself. If your going to go to Phoniex only I would tell her that since its fairly obvious that she doesn't want you to visit her that she can pay for both tickets plus fan club membership. (I fully admit that I'm in a bit of a snit over something else so likely biased

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
  • Subscriber

Haven't heard from her in two weeks.

 

She paid for the ticket in December.  I may sell it and send her the money.  Am waiting for her to call and ask about the ticket.  Maybe we can have a sensible conversation.

 

I just have the hardest time getting past the lack of caring on her part.  I'm supposed to drive 8 hours to LA, drive by myself to a crap neighborhood, see the concert with her and then part ways and go out alone in LA to find a hotel somewhere. I get that her house is messy and she doesn't want me to see it, but she works weekends, and are plenty of hours during the week to clean a freaking house before I get there.  She's acting like she's the mother of the year for not wanting to miss her kid's open house, but then she allows her kids to grow up in a sty.  Don't get any of this.  I've known her since we were little kids.  Don't know what she's morphed into. This has been such a miserable experience!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

After Mr.Mullin told us a few years ago to "f*&%-off" after ticket privileges were taken away (after years) due to scalpers joining U2.COM  I decided not to bother getting tickets on the free market. Newyork city has a massive demand and everything is in the scalpers and ticket agents-concierges hands automatically. All good things come to an end.

Edited by biglab
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Subscriber

I sure hope that you and your friend remain friends.  You have been friends for a long time and I would hate to see that friendship end over this.  Good luck to you both. 

 

As for the ticket situation, it would've been nice to be able to get more than 2 tickets at presale.  Hope this will change next time around.  Here's hoping.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...
  • Subscriber

Wow. I had a BFF like this and dumped her about 5 years ago as I couldn't handle the selfishness anymore. If she's always been selfish, you don't need that. If she's been a good friend and this is something out of the ordinary for her, try and understand.  I suggest you send her her money back and either go with another friend or sell her ticket.

 

Your story makes me appreciate even more the friend I went with for the SJ show. I flew into San Jose to see U2 with one of my best friends who lives there (who's not really a huge fan, nor has followed U2 over the years.) She is a bit last minute with stuff and only realized the week prior that her kids' school had a camping trip the same night as the concert. She packed up and sent the family and didn't go just so she could keep her promise to me. I'll never forget that as a friend and will always appreciate it. And all night in GA, she'd score a rail spot then pull me to it to switch spots! My point in sharing is, that surround yourself with friends that would go out of the way for you, if you are that friend to them :) I wish you peace in finding resolution. 

Edited by amenaqt
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Subscriber

I went to Phx 2.  It was a great show, as they all are, but especially jubilant because Ireland passed gay marriage that day.  The one I would have gone to - LA 2 - was still a good show (saw it on periscope) but very sad because of Sheehan's passing.

 

Sold the LA tickets.  Sent my former friend a refund.  And so it goes.  Am grateful to have had such a long friendship, but am sorry it ended. And every time my resolve weakens and I think about calling her, I remember her saying "you can't stay with me,"  "why don't you sell your ticket and just give me mine?" and "I hope you have a lot of things to do and people to see while you're out in LA."  Then I realize I lost a friend  who wasn't  a real friend.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...