heididietrich1

Hey Bono, I was just about to research the effect of light shows on Glaucoma and wanted to be sure that's what you had. I was told that I might be able to actually enjoy a U2 show because someone said that the light show wasn't that bad and then I thought "Hmmm. I wonder if that's because of Bono's glaucoma." So I'm going to research it just because I'm curious about the effect light shows have on glaucoma." But that's not why I'm writing. I'm writing because you said you don't wear sunglasses inside to be a douche. It's amazing to me that people feel like you have to explain yourself. I'm epileptic and I think by now you probably know that if you have gotten an email asking if you could ever do a show without lights. Or if I could watch a rehearsal because strobe lights and epilepsy definitely DON'T mix. I miss seeing U2, I miss working and I miss being who I used to be. I used to be active, you know? I wanted to encourage you by saying that you don't have to explain yourself. And to tell you that I was thinking of how my relationship to U2 has changed over the years. When I first like you, I was in awe and a lot intimidated. I mean you were bigger than life and I felt like I should call you Mr. Bono. I was young then and so excited about you guys, I made you a latch hook rug and mailed it. I wonder sometimes if you ever got it. I worked hard on that rug. A labor of love, you might call it. Now I look back and think I was so young then. Bono, when I was twenty seven, I had to have three knee surgeries. One to diagnose the problem, one to fix it and the third to take the hardware out of my legs. I was awake for the first and the third. I like to see medical procedures and the inside of my body when I can. But here's the thing. After my surgeries, I had all kinds of critics. The surgeon could have done them separately, he was a quack, the white surgeon could have done a better job, things like that. I weighed out my choices carefully when I thought about having the surgery because the recovery time was eighteen months. It took me that long to walk properly again. The reason I'm telling you this although I'm sure you know it, is that people will always have an opinion. My co-worker Bill used to say "Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink!" And until they are in the situation, they will always pick at you. I have epilepsy as I said and my family is convinced that I took the doctor at his word and stopped working. They never consider that effects it has on me. For eleven years, I would pray to be gentle, to understand that they weren't in my shoes, it wasn't fair to expect them to understand and I needed to be like Jesus. Until one day, I got pushed too far and told my brother to kiss my ass in Filene's window. Filene's was a department store around here for a very long time. It was famous in Boston. You should wear your sunglasses inside and let people talk. I always remind myself that someday these people will face old age and understand then. It keeps me patient most of the time until I get pushed too far and then it's okay, patience is DONE, BABY. It happens. I also got to thinking of how my relationship with the band has changed over the years. Years ago, I was so worried about how you all spent time with your families, I sent Carter Alan a note asking that. I was recovering from my knee surgeries and staying with my mother back then. He said you bring them along on trips and stuff. And he also said I seemed afraid to ask a question and that I never should be. Carter is a good man and prays about whatever I ask him to pray about. One of the few things in my life that I can trust. He told me once that even if he doesn't respond, he still prays about whatever. He's like a solid piece of wood that never gives way. I don't even worry if he doesn't respond. I know he is a man of integrity and that he prays. He once asked for prayer for a girl with a brain tumor and I called to find out how she was. He didn't know but I got to refer him to an Alzheimer group for his mom. She had it and it's a hard thing to cope with. I worked in a rehab hospital on a brain injury floor at the time. But epilepsy has changed how I view you somewhat. And I'm glad of that. It has taken away my ability to see you perform and I have to admit, I grieve over that. I grieve over the loss of who I used to be and what I used to be able to do, like work, provide for myself and be running around busy. I feel like I jumped into a bowl of jello. Rolling my eyes. I used to study the bible with people and wanted to be a woman's minister and be overseas helping people like Mother Teresa used to, you know? I wanted to tell you how grateful I am for U2 and how I also remember to thank God he created all of you. I was pretty sheltered in some ways growing up. Catholic School and then a public high school. I didn't know about Amnesty International, injustices around the world and things like that. I was pretty naive. You opened my eyes. I think you have helped me grow up in a sense. And care about things. And that is why I think you are great. I think you are great because your music makes me think and it's mind expanding without the LSD. I've never done a drug in my life. My brother Lenny would kill me if I did. He and my brother Rick became more like fathers watching over us younger ones after our father left. I have prayed for you over the years. I've prayed for you when your father was dying, when you were flying back and forth after shows, I prayed for you when he died because that must have been really hard considering he was the only parent you had left. I thought you were great for how you encouraged Larry when his mother died and thought, "That's the kind of heart I want to have." When I grow up, I want to be Bono, not because of the music but because of your heart for people." I have prayed for the Edge when his daughter was sick, I've prayed for Larry especially this year because his father died. And I've prayed for Adam although he's kind of hard to pray for because I don't know what to pray for him about. But God knows. I don't think he believes in God, right? Bono, I think you are a great man with the wisdom of the ages in you. I think God must have placed it there. Maybe it's part of being brought up where you were, I don't know. But I think you are a great man. I have prayed that you will live long and know your great grandchildren and bounce them on your knees. I hurt for Larry in particular this year because it seems like he has had a rough time of it. Could you give him a hug for me and tell him I'm so sorry about his dad? My mother and father died in 2007. My father was on July 3 and we found out a month later. He never told anyone he had kids and my mother died on December 23, 2007 which really sucked. I made a promise to be there for others who go through a loss. The pain almost tore me apart. But I have come to the point that epilepsy has made you a little less larger than life but no less enjoyable as a band and as musicians. I feel like I'm connected more because of it. It has forced me to see you as humans and as someone to pray for and have compassion for too. I want you to know that where ever you travel in this world, my prayers will surround you. I may never ever get to see you again in concert and I'll try to be okay with that. I'm not always okay with it to be honest. Sometimes I cry over what I have lost. I cried this week when someone posted on my page about that boy getting to play with you and how you gave him your guitar. I wanted to be there too. It's not right. Jealousy is never right and I try to overcome it by asking people to tell me about the show so I can be happy for and with them. But please know that you guys are loved and surrounded by prayer when you travel. I whisper those prayers in the night for you. Because I care about you as a group and as individuals and I know that life has also been a struggle for all of you so that's why I pray for you. Please know that when hurts arrive in your life, I will be there covering you in prayer for God to help you get through it. On that you can always rely. Heidi.